"I'm in love you."
"Well shit." I snap my head to look at him in alarm. Well great, Livia. That was very clearly a stellar response. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do now? Sometimes I really wish I thought things through before blurting out the first thing that comes to my mind.
He loves me? The pieces really are not connecting here. How could he fall in love with me? I have no fucking clue how that even happened, not to mention how any of the whole "oh i'm an asshole and am going to fuck with you and break your motherfucking heart."
"You don't need to say it back. In fact, pretend I didn't say that at all. I don't need you to profess your intense love for me, but I need to profess it to you. I need to explain myself, I realize that this is no excuse but I never really talk about my dad and there are many reasons for that but I'll start with the main one. He was mentally abusive to me and Amelie for years. 9 months ago, he left us. He went to go live on a boat and slept with way too many women that were way too young for him. Last week, he came back. He fucked with my head, told me I was going to be the way he was to my mum, to you. I was so scared of myself that I left you, and I know I don't deserve you and that I can never make it up to you because god it was the shittiest fucking thing I could have ever done." He doesn't look me in the eyes, his eyes are flicking around the room, fear evident in them. He's scared of me, I realize with a start. He's scared I'll trash him and all of his trauma, the trauma he clearly has not shared with practically anyone.
I take a step closer to him, and lift my finger to under his chin, watching as his eyes snap to mine.
"I'm in love with you, you little fucker. Everything about you." His eyes practically melt. "Even though you're still a little bitch for leaving me." I add as an afterthought. He grins at me and presses his lips against mine. The kiss get heated in no time. Ashton pulls his shirt over his head and it takes all I have to stop myself from drooling.
"You are so goddamn hot." I mumble. He rolls his eyes at this, and eyes me as if to say "your talking?" It makes me smile, I can't help it.
He cups my face in his hands, staring into my eyes, a stupidly big smile on his face. I pull back and bring his shirt that I had just put on, back over my head. His eyes widen as he takes in my body. I stop his marveling at me with a kiss. Running my fingers through his hair, I push him onto his bed, straddling him. I have no idea where this confidence is coming from. Actually, come to thing of it, I do. It's because I'm extremely horny.
He pulls his lips away from mine, stopping us.
"Livia. I don't want to push you, I get that this is probably a lot for you and I am not going to force you to do anything or make you feel like you need to. I will love you no matter what you choose to do here, and I get that this is a huge step and probably very triggering. If you want to think about it for a bit that's ok too.."
"Ashton." I interrupt.
"Yeah?"
"I really just want you to fuck me right now. I will tell you if I need to stop, but I have a pretty good sense of how far I'll be able to go. You are nothing like him. I can do this. I want to do this."
"Are you sure? Tell me at any point when to-"
"Please just fucking rail me."
"If you insist."
~~~~
A/N: So um. It happened. Sorry for the lack of smut at this point it would cause me severe discomfort to write detailed sex about characters who are practically my children. Feel free to imagine anything you'd like though hehe
Also to be very clear shoutout to i don't remember the person @ but someone added nothing without you to their reading list that was smth along the lines of "completed *sigh*" And it made me happy so I updated. (J found their @1dollarfor_seggs )I love you all so much it truly means to much to me that you guys like this book.
Also..I hate to break it to you but there's going to be one more chapter plus an epilogue that sets up opposites and parallels but I have no idea what's happening with that book bc I have lost some motivation tbh. I'll probably end up writing it at some point but it'll be slow and come in waves so please bare with me!!
kisses 💋
x
YOU ARE READING
nothing without you
Romance"I try so hard to be just friends but you sure don't make it easy." He averts his gaze from mine, and I wish he'd just look me in the face. "I don't make anything easy." I cup his face with my hands and turn it towards me, looking straight into his...
