If You Love Me

47

d e a n

EVERYONE HAS THOSE RARE MOMENTS when it feels like all time stops. When it feels like all movement in every inch of the earth comes to a halt; when all air becomes absent from your lungs; and when all thoughts in your brain are wiped clean. Those rare moments where you just stop.

Most people got them when they received a bad grade on a test, came home to find the kitchen engulfed with flames after forgetting to turn off the oven, or when they looked at their child from across the dining room table and realized they were no longer a baby and would get up and leave one day.

I got mine when I saw Avery walk in.

She keeps her eyes on the church hall decorated in white and pink flowers, jammed pack with guests ranging from those that were just learning how to walk, to those that no longer could. She watches the stained-glass window while I watch her and have my stop in time moment.

She's wearing a deep blue satin dress that wraps around her shoulders in thin straps and kisses the tops of her knees. A pair of heels are on her feet, the white straps wrapping around her ankles as if in race with each other, leaving her blue painted toes on display. Her hair is out and in waves, swaying past her shoulders and against the length of her back.

She continues to walk further into the hall, towards where I stand beside Danny, Heath, and a few others at the altar, completely oblivious to the fact that all air is absent from my lungs, I don't know have a thought in my brain, and I would bet any amount of money that the entire world has stopped spinning on its axis.

When she reaches one of the first few rows and finds Olivia, she slides in next to her and pulls a smile across her face, one that if I had any air left in my body would be gone in an instant.

For the first time since she walked into the church, she looks up and finds me; her smile reaching new heights that I never knew possible. Her eyes dip down at my tux that I barely made it in time to get yesterday, the white dress shirt and black suit jacket and pants tailored perfectly, the black tie that I learned by the age of ten to tie with my eyes closed, and a small flower like the ones that the church is covered tucked into my left pocket.

She brings her eyes up to meet mine and just stares at me for a moment before she brings her hand up and waves at me.

Not caring how it would look, I smile like an idiot and wave back at her like my life depended on it.

The song that played at every wedding began and we all turned our attention towards the tall white doors at the back of the church that I hadn't even realized had closed in the last five minutes. A flower girl begins in her trek towards the front, her hand reaching into the brown woven basket before she throws it up into the air to litter the aisle in petals. The bridesmaids start filing out one by one, moving to stand on the other side of the altar.

Everyone rises to their feet as the bride walks out with her father attached to her arm. Lauren, a tall brown-haired woman with light eyes, begins to walk towards Danny in slow and prolonged steps.

My eyes drift over to Danny to find him wiping at his cheeks as tears start to fall, his cheeks growing flushed the closer she gets to him. When Lauren reaches the front, he steps down and extends a hand to her. When she takes it, he helps up her, and the officiant begins.

As he begins to talk about love, promises, and commitments, my eyes drift back to Avery to find her already looking at me. The green and blue in her eyes so much deeper than it was before, making me only imagine that mine look the same.

We keep our eyes on each other as the vows are said, as they slide rings on to each other's perspective fingers, as the officiant introduces them for the first time as husband and wife, as they kiss, and as everyone in the church claps as they made their way down the aisle.