Poetry of a lost teen

It doesn't go away

I'm smacking my head into my pillow
And hoping it'll stop
Wishing the thoughts will go away
And they don't
And I continuously think
I think about blades
I imagine them driving through my skin
And tearing out blood
I have the erge
And it stays on my mind
Its forever there
I keep thinking
I can't control it
So I continue smacking my head into my pillow
Until I give in
It doesnt go away
~H1