Star Wars the Clone Wars - One shots

Frayed - Part 1

In the month since they had left Umbara, Jesse and Kix didn't speak a word to each other.

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Jesse took a deep breath.

He knew where he was. He was in Skywalker's squadron, descending to the planet's surface in a ball of flames. Only a minute ago, he'd been joking with the General about the peace and quiet, but now they were crashing.

He knew what was happening, who was around him. He knew his blaster was ready- he only needed to flip safety off, and he could start taking down any tinies that stood in his path. That was what he was good at.

Even as a shiny on his first battlefield, Jesse was fearless. He had no reason to be afraid. He was a soldier- a future ARC, according to Captain Rex. ARCs couldn't be afraid.

He knew how to overcome any obstacle he faced. He had witnessed suffering and pain, amongst his brothers and the innocents they fought to protect. He had seen it all, and remained completely and utterly fearless.

Off the battlefield, he was a laid-back guy, always joking and bantering with his brothers. He was supposed to be the easy going one, a perfect complement to Kix's 'I'm the medic so I'll challenge anybody' attitude. It was part of the reason they got along so well, they were balanced.

His body was in that gunship, spinning to the drop zone, but his head was elsewhere.

In his head, Jesse was still stood in front of that damn execution squad on Umbara.

It had been a month since they left that hellhole of a planet, and all he could think about was the moment his own brothers deliberately raised their guns to his head, ready to fire.

Jesse hadn't been afraid when it was happening. Sure, his heart had been thudding out of his chest and his hands were wet with sweat, but he wasn't scared of dying. He and Fives were known for their sense of humours, and they weren't prepared to go down without a laugh.

He'd even dryly joked about it with Rex after they first left Umbara. He chuckled that he wished they had gone through with it rather than having to deal with the disastrous aftermath. As he laid on his bunk, unable to sleep, Jesse figured he would rather be dead than have to listen to Tup's whimpers and the shouts of the men suffering from nightmares.

The scout exhaled as the planet's surface came closer and closer, his hands tightening around his blaster. In the darkness of the hull, he saw Skywalker's tense face, the Jedi focusing hard on slowing down their descent.

His brothers might have been sceptical about the Jedi now- keeping their distance from Skywalker and forcing tight smiles for their beloved Commander- but Jesse didn't exactly hold anything against his Jedi for what happened.

Krell was the reason the 501st killed their fellow clones on the battlefield, and the reason why Rex looked like he was constantly struggling to breathe, but Jesse's fears went beyond that of the Besalisk General with a crazy vendetta against him and his brothers.

It had been a month since they returned, and Jesse still felt indescribable rage and fear whenever he thought about Kix raising his blaster to execute him.

It hadn't gone unnoticed. Try as he might, Jesse couldn't stop himself from tensing up whenever Kix stepped into the same room as him. He struggled to relax- insomnia and anxiety keeping him on edge. No amount of herbal tea from the Commander's stash could seem to calm him.

He was sure that Kix knew he was struggling, but the medic was yet to breach the subject, and Jesse was glad for that. He didn't want anybody to know he was freezing up during training drills, and often walked the halls of the Resolute long into the night just to keep himself from falling apart.