Star Wars the Clone Wars - One shots

Breaking Point

Instead of walking away, Ahsoka accepted the Council's offer to return to the Jedi Order, but adjusting isn't as easy as everyone hoped it would be.

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T/W: Unhealthy coping mechanism for PTSD, including self-harm and disordered eating. Mentioned suicide.

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Kix

Medics are trained to notice the small details. Hidden wounds, a sniffling shiny, a disguised landmine; whatever it is, it's part of Kix's job to notice things. His brothers' survival depends on it.

There's a rumour on the Resolute that Kix knows all, sees all, and hears all.

His sharp perception of the world around him is one of the reasons why Kix allocates himself to stay close to Commander Tano once she returns to the front lines. He wants to make sure she's alright. Hell knows, what she went through was horrible.

He can't imagine how she's able to process so much trauma within such a short period of time. Only two weeks after her trial, Ahsoka is back on the front. He's surprised to see she's still Skywalker's Padawan, as her Knighthood is well overdue, but Kix is glad in that he can keep a closer eye on her, and she isn't under the care of some shiny medic.

"If you need anything, let me know," he assures her in the hanger once they board for her first mission after the trial.

"Thanks, Kix," she smiles, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She looks both old and young at the same time, with lines across her forehead that weren't there before and a quietness to her voice that he's never heard before.

To her credit, Ahsoka holds herself remarkably in the aftermath of what happened to her. Neither her nor Skywalker mention the trial, and it's an unspoken rule amongst the men to not bring it up either. Nobody comments on the clear deterioration of their Commander's mental health as she spends more time in her quarters than with the men.

Kix notices before anyone else that the Commander rarely shows her face in the mess hall anymore.

He knows she must've lost some weight whilst on the run from Fox and his men, but it's been a month since she returned, and Kix is sure that every time he sees his once brave and charismatic Commander, she's dropped another kilogram.

He breaches the subject during a post-battle examination one day. Ahsoka rarely speaks to the clones casually anymore, a consequence he blames on half of the kriffing GAR hunting her down across Coruscant. If he were in her position, he'd be weary too.

"I've noticed you've lost weight," he says quietly after taking her blood pressure, the recording is a bit low for his liking. It's not the first time either.

He expects her to avoid the subject, or get angry at his prying, but Ahsoka merely shrugs, staring at the vacant wall opposite her, "I don't have much of an appetite these days."

Kix stares at her. He wants to grab her shoulders to give her a firm shake. He thought he taught her better than this. Ahsoka, of all people, should know how important it is to take care of herself.

Then, she blinks and looks at him, her blue eyes glazed over, "I'm sorry, Kix."

Oh, Commander, he wants to say, what have they done to you?

Fives

Anyone who didn't know Ahsoka would say that she's fine. She continues to lead men to victory, fighting the Separatists with vigour, and returns the salutes of her men with ease.

The men of the five-oh-first are more observant than that to assume that their Commander is faring well because she smiles.

It's a fake smile.