Fight For Me

Chapter 7

Arthur's okay, he remembers.

But there's no way out.

There was no Arthur to help him out of it.

There was only nothing.

There was only living life in another's shoes.

Suddenly, he sees no more. Not that he was concentrating. Every image had been invading his mind as if it were his own sight, but now... it stopped.

He feels a presence get closer.

He tenses. If he even can tense.

Merlin, the voice calls, tauntingly. But it's not really speaking. Merlin doesn't know how to describe it. Maybe... Oh! Like the druids communicating with their minds... but in one mind.

Sigan, Merlin replies.

He can see the smile now, on the sorcerer's cruel face. Or Cedric's face, which is the only other face Sigan held in Merlin's eyes.

What happened? Merlin asks, confused by the sudden loss of sight and presence of Sigan, no longer taking control of the body.

Gaius knocked you out, Sigan chuckles. He doesn't trust you anymore.

He doesn't trust you, Merlin spits.

Merlin can almost see the shrug. Same difference, Sigan says. We are one.

We are not! Merlin shrieks, appalled. You are controlling my body. There is no we. We are far from being one. You're just using me as a vessel!

And your magic, Sigan cackles. I'm in control now. With my magic and yours combined, we'll be unstoppable.

You, Merlin spits. You will be. Not me.

But they'll think it's you. And that's the best part.

Gaius knows. Arthur knows. A few memories, experiences not really his, come to mind. And Gwen and Morgana, he realises, but he keeps it to himself. Gaius couldn't be doing this alone, and they'd insist on helping, wouldn't they?

They know he's not himself. So, what are they doing? Rendering him unconscious and sneaking out of Camelot? Maybe.

When he wakes up, Arthur won't be there. Arthur will be in his bed, probably, aching and feeling horrible, all because of Merlin. And what he'd said...

"I'm-- sorry," Arthur croaks at Merlin. The real Merlin. "I failed-- you."

I failed you.
Even with Merlin killing him mercilessly, he thinks he failed Merlin? No. Merlin failed both Arthur and himself. He couldn't forgive himself. He couldn't stop it.

He was weak.

And he had cried then. That was all he could do. It only made him hate himself more. All he could do was cry? What kind of advantage is that? A shitty one, certainly.

"It-- wasn't you. Rem-- member..." Arthur smiles weakly. "Remember-- that."

Even so, he hadn't stopped it. He let it happen. He feels so guilty, it feels like it's eating him up on the inside. He feels terrible.

He feels compacted. Trapped in a tiny space. A space smaller than anything, because everywhere else, Sigan had taken. Merlin only remained here, in the deepest, darkest part of his own mind, because where else could he hide?

I failed my prince, he thinks. I failed my Arthur.

***

He wakes up in his bed. He feels like shit. His throat hurts like hell, but it feels such a relief to consciously breathe again.