Before and After You

Chapter 3: The Little Prince

Bad habits have a way of manifesting especially when one is anxious. Sam is no exception. It's something that she has tried to shake off through the years but she's never been successful in her attempts to keep herself from biting her nails. Her sister would always tell her that it's gross but for some reason, it diverts her anxiety. But today, her bad habit resurfaces but it does not abate her tumultuous state.

She is lost in her thoughts when she is jolted back to the present by a sharp pricking sensation in her finger and she sees that the nail bed of her index finger is bleeding. She sighs and pulls her chair back a little to retrieve the small first aid kit she has stowed away on her desk. She is, after all, a mother of two rowdy, hyperactive children and sometimes, injuries just happen out of nowhere and it pays to have a first aid kit lying around. Today, it serves her purpose.

I'm a nutcase, she jokes to herself upon seeing the state she has driven herself into. Her day started casually, in fact, she was even enthusiastic about it. Today is going to be a great day, she declared after she drove the kids to school. One phone call is all it took for all her optimism to circle down the drain.

Her editor called to inform her that someone from the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, the Philippine PEN's roster of writers couldn't make it due to a personal emergency and in a last-minute effort to fill in the spot, they reached out to them. It wouldn't have been a problem if the conference was held in Makati or BGC or if outside Metro Manila, they could've given her some time to prepare arrangements for her kids. However, the conference will be held in Cebu and the worst part of it all, it was going to be on the day after tomorrow. Her editor, Lea, had insisted that she go, especially since they are preparing to publish her second book.

It's good publicity. We'll be expanding your audience in the regions, Lea told her thru the phone, leaving no room for argument.

As it was, Sam called her sister to ask if she could leave Clara and Charles with her, only to find out that she and Martin are on an out of town trip while her nephew, Zach, has a school trip, so there was no one left to hold the fort down. No one except him. And that's what's been hindering her from being productive the entire day.

Their set-up has gone on without a hitch in the last two years but she is feeling apprehensive as ruminates on the thought of asking Eric for a favour. They're also his kids. Surely, he'll be overjoyed at the prospect of spending the rest of the week with them? She reasons with herself. But every time it seems logical, she finds herself staring at her phone screen, unable to patch the call to him. Just do it, you big baby. Just press the call button for god's sake, she scolds herself silently.

Her eyes land on the time stamp of her phone and momentarily gives up on the thought of calling Eric to ask him for a favour. She sighs and leaves her office to pick up the kids. Reserving her energy for an uncomfortable conversation tonight, she acquiesces to the request of the kids for drive-thru.

After a bout of ruckus arguing and indecisions, they finally drive home with each kid holding a Happy Meal box on their laps and the smell of fried chicken filling the car. It didn't take long until they reached home and the kids rushed into the house before her. She helps them settle on the dining table and puts off the call, justifying that she is having dinner with the kids first.

But then, dinner flew by before she knew it and the two prepared for bed. But while doing so, Sam is left alone in her own devices and she knows that there is no other time than the present to call her... ex-husband? That didn't sound or feel right. What is Eric to her? The father of her children, most definitely. But he was also her best friend, a partner in crime, and better half, once upon a time. Now, she isn't sure what he is, or more accurately, what they are but the thought of him becoming an ex, a thing of the past, left a bitter taste on her tongue.