Caramel Eyes

Chapter 15

 Sunwoo's Pov

Yoohan was missing all day. I tried to contact him many times but his phone was off. I went to his favourite cafes too but it was of no use. And now seeing him stand in front of me like this, a part of me wants to shout at him for disappearing like this and another wants to hug him tight and never let go.

" Sunwoo-ya, please let me sleep with you" his voice cracks and tears start to flow down his cheeks. I run to him and hug him tightly. His cries get muffled in my shirt and I can feel the tears through my damp shirt. I reach my hand to his head and gently stroke until his tears have dried and his cries turn into mere hiccups. I don't know how long we stood there our hands wrapped around each other. I lived eternities in that one moment, I was angry at the person who made him cry, I was relieved he came back home, happy that he ran to me when he felt lonely and broken that I would only be a friend he would come to when he is hurt and never see me as anything more.

When he finally stopped I brought him to the living room and gave him something to eat while he watched some random shows, we ended up drinking till late and only stopped when he finally fell asleep on the sofa. Staring at his sleeping figure, he looks like a forgotten piece of art that got damaged while waiting for its moment to shine, but it never had a chance. It has cracked in a few places but it's still the finest piece of art that was ever created if only people knew how to admire it.

I run my hands through his hair and caress his cheek, "it's ok I'm right here" I whisper as if trying to put a spell on him and a tear rolls down his cheek. I spend the night by his side taking in every single detail of the boy that lies in front of me. His scrunched nose and soft whispers in sleep, his lips that tremble and smile every time he has a new dream, the way he turns and tosses and almost fall off the sofa a few times and I have to hold him and push him back up. My eyes follow his every move like it's the most fascinating thing I will ever encounter in my mundane life. The silver light on his face is slowly replaced by the morning's orange hues, and he hides his face to avoid facing the rising fireball in the sky.
The golden glow settles on his face and he finally opens his eyes, the shining caramel in them is putting the sun to shame it's intoxicating the way he looks at me and smiles his eyes leaving behind any hint of sadness from last night as they become a shade lighter, if that's even possible.

" Sunwoo-ya," he says in his deep morning voice and smiles.

I slowly lean in staring into his eyes until our noses are touching and then I place a soft kiss on his lips never closing my eyes I want to savour this moment his warm lips grazing against mine, our breaths hitching and the morning sun washing away the memories of the gloomy night. Suddenly eyes widen and the realization hit me. I'm not dreaming I just kissed Yoohan. I pull away faster than lightning, "I...I'm..." I try to explain myself but my mind is blank so I do the next best thing and run to my room closing the door behind me with a loud bang.

What is wrong with me? What am I thinking? Have I finally lost my mind? How could I kiss him in a situation like this? I should never be allowed to drink ever again. I am so pathetic I hate myself. My heart is racing and my mind can't stop cursing me. I had never imagined I would create such a mess even in my dreams. How am I supposed to face him now?

I spent the rest of the day hiding in my room as if that will help me in any way.
It's already 7 pm and Yoohan just came home. I hear the door of his room opening and closing. I was expecting him to play his guitar but there is silence. I sigh and pick a book to read but as soon as I open the book there is a knock on the door and I hold my breath afraid that he would hear me breathing. I wait for a second knock but it doesn't come so I get up from my bed slowly and reach the door I open it slightly and Yoohan is gone. There is a paper bag on the floor I take it with me. There are food boxes inside with a small note which says:
"STOP STARVING YOURSELF. I SHOULD BE THE ONE THROWING A TANTRUM RIGHT NOW NOT YOU, YOU JERK. LET'S TALK WHEN YOU ARE READY :)

Reading those words, again and again, makes me feel a bit better. 'He is not mad at me' I say out loud and smile.
After finishing the food I decide it's better to talk to him sooner than later. So here I am standing in front of his door but my hand just won't move. Every time I try to knock on the door it stops midway as if something is stopping it. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and raise my hand again and finally knock. I can hear him bolting up from the bed and running towards the door.

This place really needs some thicker walls and better soundproof doors. Sunwoo opens the door and my heart starts to race seeing him stand in front of me like that reminds me of what I did in the morning. I turn around but he holds my hand and pulls me back.

"Hey, if you run away, I will be really mad and also tell hyung what you did," he says and for some odd reason what scares me is him getting mad at me, the fact that he might tell on me to his elder brother doesn't bother me much but the thought of him getting angry and not talking to me is scary. I look him in the eyes and I can't read his expression for the first time. I drop to my knees and start apologising. "I'm really sorry. I was completely out of my mind. Maybe it was the hangover and lack of sleep. Please forgive me I will never do something like this again. I am really sorry. I shouldn't have done it without your permission but you just looked so beautiful. No... I mean...I... you..." I trail off not knowing what I am saying and his face that was unreadable just a moment ago has the biggest smile and look of amusement in his eyes. I don't know what to do so I just sit here in confusion admiring him.

"So what you are saying is I am beautiful and the only thing you feel sorry about is not asking for my permission and not about the fact that you KISSED your roommate who just had a break-up?" he finally asks and my eyes widen when I realize what I had just said to him. He crouches to come face to face with me and smiles again.
" Sunwoo-ya, I know I'm handsome and we were drunk last night and you didn't get any sleep too, it was a drunken mistake let's not ruin our friendship over it. Ok?" he says and the word friendship hits me like a storm, it's clawing at my heart. I know I should be happy that he is not mad but still I want to cry. What was I even expecting? 'Hey, stop it now. How much more pathetic are you going to act. Get your act together and stand up now' a voice in my head says and I finally find some courage to get back up on my feet. I nod my head at Yoohan and thank him for understanding me and with that, I step out of the house.

I need to be away from him for some time maybe it's time I start looking for a new place. We anyways have to move out next semester. I need to focus on my studies and I can't let him swerve me anymore