Sweeney Sweets

Chapter 64

When I was just a teenager i'd yearn to be an adult and fall in love with life again.

I wanted to skip through time and even when i'd hear Spence tell me that if I had fast forwarded through the bad, i'd miss all the good.

Secret is I still never actually changed my feelings towards it, because I forgot the things that were good anyway, and yet the bad stayed in my head, chanting, repeating, continuously reminding.

It was all I heard.

And it drowned the good times away.

But I never told her that because she'd worry.

I wanted her to believe that I could feel better, because maybe it would have made me feel better too.

And somedays, it did.

After my parents died in that car accident when I was just a kid, my heart had been destroyed, i'd stayed in my bedroom and i'd cried and cried till I couldn't have cried anymore.

Till my tears were dry and I just looked at pictures of us, trying to remember my family when we were all together.

My brother and I grieved away from one another, except for the first time when i'd cried with him, just once.

After that he'd told me he was gonna stay with his friend and I was so damn young so I never even knew Rhys, I didn't care to know him either because part of me loathed him for taking my brother away for me.

I was only eleven anyway.

I didn't know what to do.

I was stubborn, always have been, so I just let him go, not wanting to tell him I needed my brother to grieve because in that moment, I was alone.

I'd been so fucking hurt.

So alone.

I'd felt abandoned even if my uncle had came to stay with us since we were basically orphans, but he wasn't close to us at the time, and I knew part of him almost felt uncomfortable, taking care of his niece he barely had any contact with his whole life, suddenly having the responsibility of a growing child.

My life was confusing as hell from eleven to eighteen.

Nineteen was better, nineteen I was happier, nineteen was when i'd really moved on from all the pain and spoke to my brother more often, that was the year we became closer and I knew that family was everything and more to me.

I told him that and he apologized for leaving.

And it helped.

Twenty and twenty was the best years so far, twenty also happened to be the time I met Emrhys Blackburn.

Now I knew that the friend my brother moved in with was Rhys.

Rhys who made everything better for everyone, Rhys who made me feel better, and he made my brother feel better too.

That's who he was even if he didn't try to be.

He was a good person as much as he didn't care to be, I think thats one of the the most enigmatic traits about him.

He doesn't try to be a good person, he just is, even unknowingly.

I've seen him do nice things for his workers like extended leave and almost always giving everyone vacation pay, I know he helps Capri when needed and he legitimately is always there for his sisters, his family, just like Adair is, its like they carry their family on their shoulders, but they'd never admit it.

He was a good person and I loved him for it.

But when I was alone.

I was completely alone.