𝙍𝙪𝙚

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Rue x f!reader, mentions of suicide, drug abuse, depression, mentions of death~

"hello y/n how are you?" Your therapist asks you. You look at your hands, which suddenly seem way more interesting than anything else. "I'm okay, thanks for asking" You say, not really convincing. "You don't look so, you're shadow under your eyes are getting bigger and bigger and you always get slimmer. If you don't accept the help you get, I can't help you Y/n"After debating wether you should say it or not, you decided to finally say "I miss her" and quickly look back at your hands.

"It's gonna be hard, it's always hard loosing someone" Your therapist says. "I always can hear her saying my name and sometimes it feels like she's still with us. I don't want to realise someday that she won't come back. No matter what I do" Your voice is thin and after some words, it finally breaks.

"Y/n!" Rue yelled to you, it may be childish but you felt like Rue is the love of your life. Her laugh filled your heart up, finally made you feel complete. You could  feel the butterflies every time she kissed you, or even just looked at you, like it would be the first time. You were very sure that the both of yous would spend the rest of your life's together. "Yeah?" you looked up, meeting her wonderful brown eyes. "You wanna watch Yakari?" She smirked and her eyes were glowing in excitement. You will never forget how her eyes look

"of course, i'll roll the joints" You said and already started rolling the filter. "Can you give me the grinder?" Rue did as you asked and you started grinding the weed. "I'll get some popcorn and food" Rue stood up and exit your room. You've rolled the perfect joints, like you always did. After some time, Rue came back and you both cuddled, enjoying the time, not knowing that you don't have much time together anymore

"It's hard. It's always hard loosing someone you love, but you'll get over it. You're very strong" You do not believe your therapist. You feel like you're too weak, you're too much of a looser, too big of a failure, but you would never say it to anyone, the fear of getting into a mental hospital was too big.

"You know that I love you right?" Rue asked you. You were at McKays party. The love pair of you sat next to Fez on a couch outside. You nodded tiredly, leaning your head onto Rue's shoulder. "I love you too, my lady" You smirked and kissed her cheek.

"You two are such lovebirds" Fez smiled, completely stoned, but what do you expect from Fezco?. "You're just jealous, you just have to ask Lexie out and then badam, you two are in a relationship" You smirked, knowing that the both of them love each other. "Awe shut up" Fezco said and rolled his eyes. "She's right, my love is always right" Rue put her arm around me

"But she still haunts me, everywhere I go, everything reminds me of her, the memories we made, even just the smallest thing reminds me of her" A small tear escapes your eyes. "Just because she died, it doesn't mean that you will loose your memories" Your therapist won't understand. No one will.

"But what if I loose my memories? What if I forget how her voice is, how she smells and how her laugh sounds?" Now you're a completely wreck. Tears are storming out of your eyes, your mascara completely smudged. "Then you will be all grown up and over her dead" You roll your eyes at the statement. You'll never be over her dead

"Rue Rue?" You said scared. "I'm coming inside, your mom let me in" You slowly opened the door to her room. "Where are you Rue?" Your eyes fell onto a letter and your heart arches. Please don't let it be what I think, was all you could think of. You quickly went to her bathroom door. And your biggest fear came true. The door was locked.

"Rue please, it isn't funny" You said and the panic in your voice made her mom enter her room. "What's wrong?" She asked and you looked with fear in your eyes at her. "do you have a second key for the bathroom?" Your voice broke and finally she gets what was wrong.

"I'll call an ambulance" you nodded and tried to break the door open. After a few tries you finally did it, but you just wanted to turn back the time. There she was, laying on the door,  vomit laying all next to her and she looked dead, like dead dead. Her eyes were open but up turned.

You ran towards her "Rue pleas" You couldn't feel any pulse and after 5 minutes, where you just held her lifeless body in your arms, the ambulance arrived.

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Idrk about this one but I hope y'all like it:)
Stay safe and ily<3

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