French Rose

Chapter 40

Christina King

On the first day of February 2022, at exactly 9:35pm, Alexandria Katherine Coleman was pronounced dead.

It happened just a few minutes before we arrived and even when it's been a whole hour already, I was still so shocked, I couldn't let out a single tear. It happened too sudden to be true, it didn't look real and every time, I was trying to bring myself of the reality of things. She was no longer breathing, her eyes were shut, she wasn't moving. I was looking at the end of Alex laying right there on the bed with her entire body covered.

It's funny that the same girl I had issues with all my life, the same one that picked on me every single time she had the chance to, was no more. I would think about it repeatedly and it still wouldn't make any sense. The thought of it was oddly giving me a feeling of fear and surprise. My mind couldn't grasp the depth of it, I could not make myself understand it and it caused me to be in one position, utterly shocked.

It hurt that her final wish was not granted soon enough. If we came here just ten minutes before, maybe the joy of seeing him would have saved her life and even if it didn't, at least she would've died with a smile on her face. Even I could just imagine how much she had on her. Not only was she uncomfortable, she also had the feeling she needed to make things right with Lucas and unfortunately, she didn't live long enough to do that. Although he got here, she was already gone and it made no difference. All he did was hold on to her and cry in a way I'd never seen a man cry in my entire life.

Lucas's tears didn't stop, they kept rolling down as he held unto her figure and said things even I didn't know happened between them. It was more than just a regular relationship, Alex and Lucas were lovers and it had gone so far than even after he left her house, they were still seeing each other. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have that type of relationship with someone but I could just see how painful it was to him more than it could ever be to me. I could relate it to how I would've felt if anything happened to my mother during the delivery, maybe I would do even worse then Lucas.

Leo was somewhere I didn't know but I could remember that look on his face when her death was first announced. That was all I saw of him before he walked away and left the rest of us by her bed. His eyes turned red and there was this deep frown on his face. I would say that the pressure on Leo was more than it could ever be on any one of us. He was with her almost every day of her life since childhood, they were the closest buddies and it continued even when they became adults. Losing that type of person after all these years was a feeling no one wants to experience. He was here when the whole thing started, he stayed with her even when her mom couldn't and did his best to get Lucas here and it would cause him so much guilt to see that he couldn't grant her last request.

No one knew something like this would happen and it wasn't till after I spent lomg minutes standing that I crouched down on the ground and began to cry. It was like breaking a dam, these tears kept rolling down my face. Alex didn't deserve to die, she had gone through too much to end the journey like this. All the things her mom forced her to do, the little freedom she got by meeting Lucas was not fair on a girl so young. If I knew this was the gravity of things, I would've brought myself back here the moment I saw my mom was fine. Maybe if I came earlier, I would've been able to help him get Lucas here and she would at least be happy one last time but I was too engrossed in my own life that I didn't see how much my attention was needed in hers.

It wasn't until her body was wheeled away that Lucas could regain his composure. It was eleven midnight at that time and Leo still was no where in sight. It was just the two of us left when Lucas turned to me and said "Why didn't you tell me? I could've helped her"

"I had no idea it was this bad"

"So you've been aware she was in the hospital all this time and you didn't think it right to at least give her a bit of your attention?"

"I had issues at home too and before you make this sound like it's my fault, I wasn't even here the whole time."

"And Leo? He was here when everything started, he didn't do anything"

"He stayed with her every single day since the beginning like a good person would. Listen, There's no one to blame that this happened, we're just as devastated as you are so it's better you keep those harsh words inside"

"Everyone is to blame. She wasn't okay, Alex was never okay, she was always sick and none of you saw how the whole thing was silently killing her. Friends indeed"

Never since I knew him have I felt so angry with Lucas. No one was okay with what happened and I understood that a feeling like that could bring up more emotions like the one he was expressing but it wasn't up to him to blame anyone. Yes, things could've changed if he came earlier but we went out of our way to bring him, what more would we have done? I didn't know how things were, I had no idea her situation was that bad and Leo was here everyday so it wasn't anyone's fault that she died.

"And let me guess, you are the good friend? You know she's a sick person, I just found out a few days ago and Leo was always there to check up on her. If you truly are a good friend, why didn't you do anything the day you saw she was sick? Cause I can clearly remember the day we went to the ice cream shop and she looked far from okay but you didn't do a thing even when she brought herself to you. You know when the pressure of the whole 'find the truth' was on her and I'm very sure you also knew how hard it would be for her to be in the middle of everything and you did nothing despite knowing how sick she was. You don't have a right to blame anyone here, we're not happy this happened either so it's better you keep quiet"

Maybe I snapped or maybe that was just an effect of what I was feeling inside but I said words I didn't think I would ever say. The smallest words could make anyone feel guilty about her death but the truth is, no one is to blame for it and we all needed to get strong for each other. The whole yelling at each other and saying harsh words wouldn't help anyone and I understood it's better he expressed what he was feeling but I wasn't just going to sit there and listen to him say stuff that would make me feel worse about myself.

Lucas was almost out of the room when I realised what was happening and asked "Where are you going?"

"Do you expect me to stay?"

"I understand you're hurt and the weight of this might be on you more than it is on me but you have to understand it's no one's fault. I don't want to yell at you or make you feel bad and I don't want us to leave here and hate each other afterwards so please, understand me"

"This is more than me understanding you and even if it was, I think it's better we leave here hating each other cause it would be for the best. I brought myself into this type of life and look at where that has gotten me. I was cheated, treated like garbage and one of the people I love the most is dead. Do you really think I would continue to stay in this by keeping you as a friend? Even if I did, then what would happen next? I would move back in with you, everyone would look at me like a murderer cause I'm pretty sure that if I don't leave this story, there will be something else on the headlines tomorrow, my life would be completely destroyed and every single thing I've worked for would go to waste and you, you'll have your rich daddy carrying you around like an egg and everyone would look at you as the good person, you'll move on to have a legacy like your father while I keep washing the dishes in your kitchen. Is that what you really want for me? I think it's better every connection we had is left broken"

That was the last I saw of Lucas.