i actually thought that my hair comes out due to me trashing in bed . but recently i found that something was pulling out my front hairs when i was half asleep and half awake . i knew that day , my hair was rather braided too tightly and even had hair clips securing them . i just removed the hair clips and lied down . while my hair was fully oiled - no chance of pulling it out without making me shiver or feeling it . and it just came out . i could not believe it and did not dare open my eyes . 

to be frank these things started happening when i was like 14 or something and i am 16 just yesterday . there are times i suddenly wake up at 1-3 for no real reason

at schools , i often heard some murmuring things and some bad smells [too rarely] . whenever i asked to my near person over this , they would say no and look at me like i am really weird . 


and my mental pressure over my schools were no better . i was often criticized for being fat and too clumsy or too silent or always sleeping . i mean- am i at fault ? . i really could not bring it to tell it out , right when my insecurities are more . i technically looked too tired . not like anyone cared . 

the one i trusted and said it out just said - "you are dramatic beyond a point , anyways - nice story , how about an another one?" . yep , thats where i actually lost faith in having friends . while i called them friends , i merely saw them as an acquaintance , or a toy whenever i wanted them to suffer . 


----------------


i found the courage to say it after 2 whole fucking years [today]  to my mother and my sister who actually laughed at this and turned away . 

my mental health is no better now , i really need help . 


for my basic information ,

 i am a girl , born on no moon day [amavasya] at 3 to 3:15 in the morning . in Hindu culture [ i am a Hindu , no hate for anyone ] . people say being born on amavasya is said to be a bad thing . they say people born in amavasya have a affinity towards ghosts 

well i am lazy to explain this , i will just put this .

well i am lazy to explain this , i will just put this

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i - my smiling face is almost broken now and this took me three hours minus the time crying to actually put these things down . i am sensitive 


i really want comfort , considering my offline classes which are starting from tomorrow . 

thank you for understanding me . 

-peerless2cucumber

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