The Casualty «Dukat/Damar & OFC» 🔞 ✔️

9. Evolution

Damar needed a double dose of kanar that evening. He sat in his chair well past his shift staring blankly into a wall, shakily sipping the drink and reflecting upon what had just happened.

He was aware of the continuous shift of his feelings towards Nyran. It seemed natural to him, they were friends and they were going through some difficult times together. They were getting closer, bonding, just as good friends do over time. It was nothing to be concerned about -- or so he thought right up until a few moments ago.

He used to be certain about his attitude towards aliens. He used to know that the only women worth pursuing were Cardassian, as they were equal to men in every way; just as strong, as smart, as loyal. He was never even tempted by the defeated, desperate air around Bajoran females -- both the dirty, smelly workers and the squeaky-clean, scented comfort women÷. He used to have his standards. And he managed to endure his deployment with only a few minor slip-ups involving Cardassian women, which was virtually nothing compared to what some others were doing. He was quite proud of that; his inner faithfulness remained intact, his love did not change, his soul still belonged to his wife.

Unfortunately, him becoming a piece in the Dominion power-play had put an unusual amount of strain on their marriage. Niala was not happy about his lack of actual influence. She would not listen to his rants about Weyoun, the Jem'Hadar and the female Founder. She did not appreciate any of his "excuses" to why he is remaining in such a humiliating position. It was obvious that she had expected much more from his promotion; instead, she felt that he became less than he ever was as just a soldier.

She hated the smell of kanar on his breath every time he returned home for the night, not wanting to have anything to do with him and making him sleep on the couch. At times, he noticed her quickly switching off a communicator or hiding PADDs when he entered the room. Once or twice she came home very late, unusually cheerful, smelling of flowers, luxurious meals and other men. She always argued that she was just required to sit through some boring company dinner with her bosses, but she seemed to have loved it.

Damar's heart kept sinking lower every time he witnessed something like that. He knew it was not easy for her either, but he always thought she would stand by him in a time of crisis. Seeing her behavior, listening to her transparent lies and getting the cold shoulder every time he tried to be remotely intimate with her made him lose his faith.

He spent increasingly more time in his quarters in the palace, sleeping there most nights, only going home to see his sons and parents, choosing the times he knew she would be gone. He could tell the boys noticed the change in their parents' relationship, but to his relief neither of them blamed him for anything, still loving him as much as they used to. The one thing Niala would never do was turn their children against him, no matter what she might have felt herself.

Which was the strongest reason he had left for keeping up the pretense of a loving marriage -- their children. Every time the thought crossed his mind, it made him sick to his stomach. He still cared for her deeply, even if his affection and attraction were evaporating quickly.×

That must have been the catalyst for what happened with Nyran just now. She was never cold or mean to him. The compassion and understanding she offered always made him feel welcome, at home. He felt like he could share absolutely anything with her. Her warmth was the main reason he chose to spend so much time in her presence, neglecting other friends.

And just minutes ago he found out just how appealing it became when it was combined with the warmth of her touch, closeness of her body and her intoxicating scent -- a scent he had never noticed until then. She had made him feel so good, so comfortable, so blissful -- until the realization of it sobered him up. He would have had a hard time mustering a protest if she did actually try to seduce him. That thought scared him, but not because of her. He was afraid of what he might do.