Unrequited [HSS #4, Completed]

Chapter 29

Medyo matao na rin, pero at least kahit papaano ay tahimik at mukhang peaceful ang ambiance, contrary to the busy streets outside.

As if we're thinking alike, parehas naming napili yung puwesto na medyo isolated. Enough to be hidden from the other customers, but also enough to appreciate the overall interior of the place.

"What do you want?" tanong ni North. "Kakain ka ba?"

"Coffee lang, you can choose for me."

"Kahit halo-halo flavor?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "May ganoong flavor?"

She shrugged. She's grinning like a kid teasing her playmate. "Wishful thinking?"

Parang basta yata may halo-halo, go pa rin si North. Natawa tuloy ako. Siya itong cute ngayon sa totoo lang.

Napailing na lang ako habang nangingiti. Gusto niya lang precised ang kunin ko, eh. "Java chip frappe, North. Regular size."

"Nice," She leaned and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek. Parang natural lang nito iyon kung gawin. Napansin ko rin yung ibang napapasilip sa gawi namin. Sino ba naman hindi mapapatingin kay North? Eh, ang ganda niya. "I'll be back in a bit."

I motioned my payment para sa order ko pero umiling lang siya sa akin. Hindi na lang ako nagpumilit. I'll just treat her next time.

Pinanood ko lang si North maglakad palayo. Tumayo pa ako para lang silipin siya hanggang makarating sa counter. Pagkatapos no'n ay prente na rin akong naupo.

I checked my phone to see kung may notifications pero wala naman. I'm just casually scrolling sa newsfeed kahit walang nagr-register sa utak ko na kung anong post. Huminto lang ako nang dumating na si North. She was holding a small disc shaped buzzer and the receipt and placed it on the table.

"Hey."

"Hey."

She sat beside me. Two seater couch itong pinuwestuhan namin and a coffee table with books available. She squeezed herself beside me, her hand playing with mine, like we're all alone.

North is more clingy than I am.

"I'm glad you came," mahinang saad niya. "Thank you."

Hindi nagtagal ay umilaw yung buzzer with a short vibration, okay na yung order. Umalis saglit si North at pagbalik niya ay dala na niya ang order namin. Inabot niya yung akin at mahina naman ang nagpasalamat. Naka-wrap na rin yung para sa magkapatid, parang ang dami pa nga ng laman no'n. Baka para kay Jade din.

Jade...I know it's hard on her part, too. Lalo pa at may nararamdaman ito kay South.

"Kamusta na pala si South?" I wasn't able to ask her kanina lalo na't bigla na lang ako nitong sinugod ng yakap habang umiiyak, then nag-aya sa cr para makapaghilamos.

"She's fine na raw pero under observation pa rin," she said. "She'll be discharged naman din kaagad kung walang makikitang mali sa result ng tests niya and if she'll wake up the soonest. It's really a good thing lang na she was able to get medical attention on time."

Hindi ko maiwasan maawa sa kanya. Her sister attempted suicide, they almost lose her. Imagine how heavy it was for them. That burden of what they did wrong or what they lacked at that someone close to them reached that point na pipiliin nitong mawala na lang.

Just knowing how it must be painful for North, I can't help but get hurt, too. I always see her na palaging composed, like she's making us see na everything's okay.

Pero just like everyone else, we all have shadows we don't want people to see. We all have someone we're afraid to lose. We all have demons we're dealing with inside.

North is just as vulnerable as I am. She's strong, but that doesn't give anyone the liberty to say she doesn't need a shoulder to lean on.

"Hmm," I cleared my throat. Hindi ko sure paano isasatinig yung naiisip ko nang hindi makaka-offend o kung ano man. "May rason ba yung kapatid mo para...para mag-attempt?"

Nakatingin lang siya sa coffee table pero parang blangko ang titig niya. It's like her mind was elsewhere. Para pang nabalik lang ito sa reyalidad nang mahina kong tapikin ang kamay niya.

The warmth of her gaze returned. She didn't smile, and I can now tell the struggles despite that soft stare and calm demeanor. "Marami sigurong rason, pero hindi ko alam kung ano ang nag-trigger. Si South, kahit gaano kami kalapit sa isa't isa, she never shared her thoughts with me. She's gentle, really gentle, and sweet, but she's distant to an extent...and I think I know the reason why."

"Bakit?"

"She saw one of my flaws," Natawa siya, but it was devoid of humor. I'm currently seeing a different side of North. "The nice thing is, when she asked me before if I was okay, she asked me as if she'd seen past through me, as if South saw something we don't normally see. Ngayon ko napagtatanto na similar kaming magkapatid to an extent."

I don't know if I have the right to ask what those flaws are exactly. Pakiramdam ko masyadong sensitive iyon, kaya vague siya magkuwento. I don't want to draw distance between us, now that I'm just starting to know her again.

This color of North, I want it, too.

I gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. I settled my eyes on hers, letting her know my presence. That she won't lose me.

Nakakalunod talaga siya tumingin ─ malalim, nanghihila, nangingilala. Her stares felt like drowning but never suffocating, if that even makes sense. "Let me see you some other time...when you're ready."

"When I'm ready."

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