Signs

Chapter 17

They had only seen each other once since the day they broke up. Camila never worked Sunday's but had covered an extra shift for the other Librarian, Ariana, the following week. She'd heard the unmistakable sound of heels clicking on the floor, the sound that had used to fill her with excitement and joy. Instead it filled her with sadness and yearning as she looked up to see Lauren staring at her from just inside the door.

Lauren looked tired, her face drawn. The bruise on her eye had all but disappeared, replaced by dark circles under her eyes. Camila could see her shudder as she took in a deep breath and drew herself up to her full height, lifting her chin as she walked over to the counter. It took everything Lauren had to face Camila, to look at the hurt on her face as she stared back with blue glassy eyes with unshed tears.

Trying to be as quick as possible, Lauren dumped the latest books she'd drawn out into the return before turning around. She didn't move, just standing there with her back to Camila, feeling her gaze on her back. Talking to her would only make it worse, but it was killing Lauren to hurt Camila like this.

If only she could explain.

That wouldn't really help either. She had tried her best, and knew Sofi had probably tried too, but in the end it didn't make a difference. Lauren had broken both of their hearts in her struggle to protect the only thing she cared about in this world.

She turned back around, meeting Camila's gaze.

'I'm sorry' Lauren signed, her lower lip trembling.

Her jaw tightened as she fought to keep her face straight, not wanting to show weakness in front of Camila. She had made her choice, and now she had to live with it. Without waiting for Camila to reply, she turned on her heel and hurried out.

Camila watched Lauren go, her breathing hitching as she itched to chase after her. To pull her back to her, to feel her warm lips on hers as they kissed in the chilly morning air. It was too late for that; she'd only be hurting them both more. Instead, Camila turned away from the door, focusing on her computer screen as she tried to carry on working.

- --

A few weeks passed.

Christmas came and went in a blur.

Camila went through the motions of her daily life, without any of the enthusiasm and optimism she had exuded before. Sofi hosted Christmas dinner at her place this year, inviting all of their friends and Sinu.

Camila tried to get into the Christmas spirit, but her enthusiasm fell short of its usual standards. No one wanted to push her, and Sinu spent most of the holidays fussing around her daughter.

She missed Lauren. This was supposed to be their first Christmas together. It was even worse for Camila, knowing that Lauren had isolated herself from everyone. At least she got to spend Christmas with her family; Lauren would have no one. After a few drinks, Camila had to stop herself from marching over to LJ-Corp and barging into Lauren's office. Instead, she spent the rest of the night miserable, nursing her heartache with a bottle of wine and Dinah's renditions of Sinu's favourite carols.

- --

Lauren spent Christmas alone at LJ-Corp. She was still under investigation, but was determined to get the company back on track, despite the heavy scrutiny. To her, Christmas was just like any other day. She'd ruined her chances of having a proper Christmas with a real family. Instead, Lauren spent all day and night alone at the office, going over paperwork as she made her way through a bottle of wine.

On Christmas Day it took everything in her not to break down after finding the gift she'd bought for Camila, and the dorky Christmas sweater she'd bought to wear. Knowing how much Christmas meant to Camila, she'd bought it as a surprise for her, hoping to make her laugh when she saw Lauren turn up in a bright red sweater with a reindeer on it, so different from anything she'd expect her to wear.