Fake This Love

Chapter 22: Sarawat

Sarawat stifles a yawn as he climbs up the stairs towards his bedroom.

It's almost 1 in the morning and he joints hurt almost just as much as his head. My God, that was a long day at the office.

He is aware of course that the long day was entirely his doing - this has been his excuse to miss dinner and avoid going home. So he has been doing work he could have easily done remotely, attending long meetings he could have easily missed. Then leaving the mansion before the crack of dawn to do it all over again.

This has been his routine for more than a week now - hiding from Tine just so he didn't need to face the consequences of biting Tine's lips.

He remembers it still - the fleeting feeling of that soft flesh rubbing the tip of his tongue, yielding under the pressure from his teeth.

That's all it takes for his lower belly to start stirring, the flame almost overtaking the tiredness in his bones. Almost making him forget just how light headed he was feeling.

Tine, what are you doing to me?

Well, it's late now. Hopefully, once he opens the door to his room, Tine would be fast asleep and Sarawat would be able to lie on his side of the bed, undisturbed as he slowly died from his sheer proximity to Tine.

He pushes the heavy door into his room and no such luck.

Tine was seated on the bed, fully awake, trying to build what seemed like a Lego block tower. He had a small smile playing on the corners of his lips as he connected block after block on the wobbly toy structure.

Sarawat melts.

There was no other word for it - he could feel his very cells disengage from one another and rearrange themselves. He could feel the ice people claimed to flow through his veins and encase his heart dissolve.

How much longer could he claim that this was nothing more than a relationship of convenience?

How much longer could he deny to himself that he was royally and totally fucked?

There was nothing convenient at all about this. Nothing convenient to feel all the feelings for a man who was only here to do a job.

The Lego tower crashes - bits and pieces fall on the bed and on the floor. Tine pouts, his eyes becoming half moons.
Finally, he looks up at Sarawat.

"How was your day?," he smiles.

It makes Sarawat yearn for a future where he would come home every day to that question. Imagine a life where he could come home to Tine for real.

Tine cocks his head to the side. "Long day I take it?"

Sarawat nods.

"Are you angry at me?"

Sarawat looks up at Tine. "Why would I be angry?"

"Well, you've been avoiding me all week."

"I haven't been avoiding you. Work has just been intense."

Tine starts picking up the blocks on the bed, collecting them on his palm and he absentmindedly says: "My husband is so hardworking."

"Excuse me?"

Tine turns crimson. "I mean...well...uh...Have you eaten? I can fix you some fried rice and- " He tries to get up from the bed but he was in such a hurry that his left foot gets tangled in the blankets and he pitches forward towards the floor.

Sarawat moves lightning fast and catches Tine in his arms.

They both fall to the floor, Tine landing on top of Sarawat, his cheek pressing into silk shirt stretched across Sarawat's chest.
He immediately pushes himself up, putting distance between the two of them.

Sarawat would have gladly scrambled upwards as well, but his world was really spinning now.

"Wat? Are you okay?"

Sarawat merely groans. He cannot manage words right now.

Tine quickly comes back beside him. "Wat? What's wrong?" He places his hand against Sarawat's cheek. "You're burning."

Tine hurriedly goes to the intercom in the room and calls for water and medicine. He goes back to Sarawat and carefully lifts him up the floor.

Sarawat wanted to protest but he was too weak. So instead he lets himself be lead to bed.

Tine sits him down on the edge and kneels in front of him. Carefully, he takes off Sarawat's coat and then his tie.

He bends down to unfasten Sarawat's shoes and pull off his socks.

Sarawat was embarrassed. He didn't know how to react to being taken care of this way. He cannot even remember if anyone has ever done this for him.

Tine puts away the clothes and the shoes. He then sits beside Wat and starts undoing his shirt buttons.

"What are you doing?"

"Let's remove your shirt and get you comfortable on the bed. I'll go and find a towel and some hot water okay? You're not well."

"I will take a paracetamol. You don't need to do any of this."

"Let me take care of you. You're really sick Wat. Or if would make you feel more comfortable, I can call Praya?"

"I can take care of myself."

Tine rolled his eyes. He gestures at Wat. "The state your in suggests you can't."

Sarawat groans again.

"It's a simple sponge bath, Sarawat. I don't understand why you're resisting."

What if I get used to you taking care of me? What happens when you walk out that door and leave me at the end of six months? I have been left too many times, Tine.

Sarawat blinks, surprised at his train of thought. He really must be delirious with fever.

"Let me help you feel better," Tine says, sweeping Sarawat's hair to the side.

You make me feel too good. It scares me.

"Sponge baths scare you?"

Oh no. Did he say that last sentence out loud? "I meant, you shouldn't be scared. It's just a fever."

Tine smiles gently and very carefully pushes Sarawat until he is inclined against a mound of pillows. "You don't scare me. Now, stop being such a difficult patient. And seriously Wat, you can't keep working 18 hour days. You're killing yourself."

Tine is about to stand from the bed but he sits back down. "Anything you need? I can go and get it while I prepare the bath."

His defenses down and damaged, Sarawat leans his head on Tine's arm. "Stay. I need you to stay."

Tine is surprised but moves closer. He puts his hand on Sarawat's head and very gently combs his fingers through his hair. "I am not going anywhere," he whispers. "I'm here."