Secrets - Bertholdt x Reader

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*Possibly spoilers -
don't read this part if you're not up to date with the manga.

"Well, we weren't trained to let our comrades just die! Let's get moving!"

   Jean shouted at the the trainees before him, raising his fist victoriously while he held a blade of courage and hope. The sound of wires and gas began to echo in the distance, the only thing being able to see behind him was the red scarf that became one with the wind. The rest of the cadets began their war cries, and followed behind Mikasa as she began to farther away from them.

   The day before graduation - you'd think that it would be all smiles and happiness, considering that you all would part ways and finally become soldiers.

But what do you get instead?

   Trost became breached by the well-known Colossal titan, the same one who broke down Shiganshina and Wall Maria, with the help of the Armored titan. This happened exactly the day before graduation, and you knew that most of you wouldn't be alive when you came back. It was your first battle, after all, and going into the field with a bunch of rookies means too much bloodshed in one day. It also meant that some trainees won't feel the glory of entering the military as a true soldier.

   You followed behind Sasha and Connie, some cadets ahead of you and most of them behind. Beside you was Bertholdt, keeping his gaze forward as he showed hint of worry, regret, and guilt in his forest green hues. You didn't want to question, though, because you knew that he was just scared for what lied ahead of both him, like everyone else.

   "All this had to happen before graduation," you sighed, loud enough to snap Bertholdt out of his daydream as direction his attention to you, glancing. "we probably won't even survive this."

   "Not all of us will make it, it's a fact," he replied, sighing shortly after. Your gaze showcased across the street, your form hovering above the rooftops as you passed by a titan's body that was evaporating, the steam rising up.

Probably Mikasa, she's taken the lead to clear the path of titans for us so we can pass through.

"but there are people who will make it as well."

   You snapped your attention back to Bertholdt, who flashed you a shy, but sweet, smile to you. Sighing again, you shook your head and focused ahead of you, regardless of the cadets who were already dying below, their screeches and cries filling the bloodshed air.

   "I just hope that I'll survive, even though my chances will drop once I join the Scouting Legion." you began, your sadness now leveling up from the downing thoughts you endowed.

   Bertholdt glance over to you shyly, and swallowed nervously before replying. "D-don't say that, I'm sure you'll be a great soldier once you join the Scouts."

   "Thanks, Bertl," you replied hesitantly, flashing him a fake smile. Both of you knew that once you join the Scouts, everything will basically go downhill - mentally, physically, and possibly socially. "which one are you joining, by the way? Like, what military?"

   "I was planning on going for the Military Police, but I hadn't really confirmed myself with that," he looked up, seeing the darkened sky that was filled with gray clouds and darkness. "it just depends, I assume."

   "Depends if you live?" you asked, confused at what he meant. It was normal for people to dream and want to be apart of the Military Police - working with the king, being in comfort and all. But to you, that was just stereotypical for the average trainee - after all, they wouldn't be anything other than spineless cowards, escaping reality through the so called "perfect lifestyle."

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