The Club

Thirty- One

Everything felt so off. Everything felt so strange. I almost felt like I’m floating, but like I’m not. Everywhere I feel felt so sore and burning hot, almost like the sun is beating down on me in the middle of the desert. I wanted to open my eyes, but they felt glued shut. My throat’s parched and sore, almost like the last time I used too much magic and passed out. I barely can feel anything as my body is completely numb besides the overbearing heat that I’m feeling all over. I don’t quite remember what happened, but all I know is that I’m afraid and confused. Joz are you here with me? I ask in my mind.
When I didn’t hear a reply, I instantly became worried. I figured I was in my mind again since I ended up using too much magic once again. I need to stop doing that. Joz already warned me I could kill us both by using too much, even though we’re both technically already dead. I tried again to open my eyes, or at least do something, but it’s like I’m frozen in this heat and numbness. I don’t know where I am, but it’s eerily quiet that it makes me so nervous than before. Wherever I am, it doesn’t feel like I’m inside of my mind. The chilling sensation is coming back, but the numbness isn’t going away. In fact, I felt nothing, really. It almost feels like I’m drowning but then floating, then emptiness. It’s a repeating cycle and I don’t like it. Joz where are you! I ask, frighten. 
“He’s not here Lonnie.” 
“Who are you? Where is this place? Where’s Joz?” I ask, scared. 
“There is nothing to be afraid of. You are safe. This is a place of judgement where they are trying to decide where they should put you.” 
“Judgement? They? What are you talking about? Where’s Joz!” I yell, scared out of my mind. 
“Calm little robin, everything will be alright in the end. They will decide to let you come with us. I’m sure.” 
“Little robin? No one calls me that except for my dad, but he’s dead.” I nearly say in a whisper. 
“Unfortunately, so are you, little robin. That power you used was so great that you nearly killed yourself. So now you’re in a state where it can either go both ways. But if they had it their way, they will have you stay dead.” 
“If you’re really my father, he would never say such things to me.” I nearly stammered. 
“I’m your father if you believe me or not, little robin, but what I’m telling you is the truth. You died in that car crash with me, but your mother stupidly brought you back for a dark user and his purposes. Now, you have demon blood and a demon inside of your mind. You’re a part of the dark side, Lonnie, and now it affects if you belong in heaven or hell.” 
“But I have done nothing bad! I want to stop the ritual and this marriage with Tynan! That has to count on something.” I tell him, upset. 
“Yes, it does, but not when you use that dreaded demon’s magic and not when you use it on others. Good or bad.” 
“That’s not fair! I have to use them in order to stop the ritual!” I yell at him. 
“Well, now you don’t have to worry about that. You’re dead and they can’t do the ritual without you.” 
“No! I can’t accept this! I need to go back! Send me back!” I yell, trying to get out of my frozen state. 
“You still don’t get it, Lonnie? You nearly died from using that demon’s power, and you will be dead once they decided where to put you. You can’t just simply go back. Right now, you’re in a coma and they will make sure you die in that coma.” He tells me seriously. 
“Your not the father I remember.” I whisper.
“Your not the daughter that I remember either.” He shots back. 
“That’s because you died when I was young. Now I’ve grown. You don’t know me anymore, and you definitely don’t know me now.” I tell him seriously. 
“I know you more than you think, Lonnie. You betrayed us. You betrayed god and now they have to decide where to put you.” He tells me with a huff. 
“You forget, I never asked for any of this. I didn’t ask to die, or get brought back or have demon blood or Joz inside of my mind. I didn’t get a choice in anything! So how did I betray you or god when I didn’t even get a choice?” I ask, hurt and angry. 
“You could’ve not tapped into the demon’s magic, or sacrificed yourself for the greater good.” He tells me making me nearly flinched. 
“You would rather if I killed myself?” I ask nearly a whisper. 
“Yes.” 
I didn’t answer him as I’m hurt, angry and upset by his answer. This man, whoever he is, clearly can’t be my real father. My dad would never tell me to kill myself for the greater good. My dad was smart. He would always try to find another way around things. I can’t and won’t believe that this man is my father. I don’t know who he is, but something fishy is going on. Maybe I’m not even in a coma at all and this man kidnapped me and is trying to get me to kill myself. I wish I could move or talk, or even open my eyes. This would all be better if I could. I’m just going to keep trying, and try with all of my might. I need to get out of here and find Joz. I’m not dead yet, so he’s still in my mind, but he must’ve got trapped or locked out of reach of my calls. I’m alone until I can get myself free. 
“Give up Lonnie. There’s no way to escape.” 
“I will get out of here, and I will stop the ritual myself. I don’t need you. I don’t need them deciding what to do with my life. I don’t need some man claiming to be my father telling me to kill myself. I will get out of this place!” I yell at the man.
“You will never get out of here! Give up and let them decide your fate for the greater good!” 
I ignored him as I used up what little strength I had left to get myself to wake up from this place. I need to get out of here. I need to find Joz. I need to stop the ritual. I repeated that repeatedly. It was such a struggle and I don’t know how long it took me, but it honestly hurt trying to wake myself up. It felt like there was something stopping me from leaving here, and maybe there was. It didn’t stop me from keeping on trying, but it felt like the harder I try the harder it was. My mind felt like it became even more numb, which made me feel uncomfortable. I just kept pushing through and did my best to ignore all these negative feelings I’ve been feeling. No matter what, I need to hurry and get out of here. I will not stop. I will not give up. I will get out of here, if they like me to or not.