Ink Whisper ~ [jikook] ✓

67

"I know, Koo. I know."

Jungkook's face was now in Jimin's palms, cheeks a little squished together as the younger leaned down for a quick kiss.

It didn't take long for Jungkook's lips to start to mumble, "I love you both, I will love you forever. Without you I am..." A tear dampened Jimin's fingertips where it had slid down Jungkook's cheek. "I am nothing without you."

It was an over-exaggeration, somewhere in Jimin's mind the young man understood that. But his heart sang in agreement because the words rang true. So true he almost whimpered. Jungkook was bound to him and Jimin was bound to Jungkook.

"Tell me, my love," he begged. "Tell me what hurts you."

The man's body shook as he drew breath. "Having a biological child with you was nothing mo-more than a dream at one point, a thing that I never considered to become m-my reality. Until you told me you were pregnant. I was so--"

Jimin remembered it clearly. He would never forget how excited his boyfriend was about the aspect of being a father to a mini human who looked just like them. "I know," he said again, biting his lip as a small, painful smile shone through all the pain.

The tattooed arms were clinging to Jimin's legs as if the younger was Jungkook's lifeline. His whole body shook while Jimin shushed him quietly, encouraged him to continue, to tell and release himself from the madding burden.

"After... After they sent you inside to get the baby out, I... They--" His voice was hoarse and Jimin had to strain his ears to hear and decipher what Jungkook was saying. But he gathered enough.

"At one point during the operation, the surgeon came out and told me-- he said-- he said you were dying." His Jungkook was full-on sobbing. Crumbling between Jimin's knees as he spilled his biggest fear. "He told me to choose who was more important. Told me to-- between-- you and her."

"Wh-what?"

The desperate look for Jimin to understand what Jungkook was saying and how it all turned out, burned within his tear-filled gaze. It was so clear that Jungkook didn't want to say the next words aloud.

But he did. Because there was nothing else Jungkook could do but to continue his explanation - Jimin was stunned into silence, looking at him as he processed the news. "I chose you. I told them that if it came to a point that they could not save both of you, they should save you. My love--" he choked, "Jimin, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I--"

"But I wanted this baby..."

Jungkook's cheek was pressed flush against his thigh, wetting Jimin's sweatpants with tears, snot and drool as he sobbed. "I know, sweetheart, I know. I wanted it, too. I wanted a family with you. Wanted so much."

The man was voicing everything Jimin had going through his mind. He wanted the baby. He waited for the baby. His Jungkook was so excited for the baby. Had always blabbered about how he'd take her out on daddy-daughter walks, how he'd dress her as a princess and treat her even better, how he'd kill the boys who'd tried to harm her. Jungkook had been the one waiting for their meeting the most...

"Then," Jimin gulped, "then why did you choose me?"

"Jimin!" Jungkook's head snapped up, forgetting about the tears for a moment. His face was red and splotchy, looking at the sitting boy in shock. But as his dark eyes met the younger's, he almost choked again. "How could I not?!"

"But you wanted the baby so much. You waited for her every day, you--"

"Would you really be okay with letting me die? If our roles were reversed, would you--" another sob stopped Jungkook from voicing the question and he had to wipe the snot off his lips with a quick flick of his wrist. Then he looked up again. "Look at me and tell me that you would rather let me die."

The request hurt to even think about. "N-- I... I can't say that," Jimin choked out. No, he could not. He could never.

Jimin's arms shook with the thought alone. His cheeks were wet, too, drops of big tears rolling down and dripping in his lap, some landing on Jungkook's arms.

"Then please understand why I chose this. Please understand that for me you come first. You are irreplaceable. You are my heart. My everything. You are the love of my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do to have you by my side. Because if you died, Jimin, shit, if you died, then I'd be dead, too. I cannot live if I have no you. You're one thing I will never find again. My one and only. I am bound to you with my whole being. You have my soul, and I'm glad of it. Do you really think I could ever let you go?"

Desperately, Jimin shook his head.

"No."

"Would you let me go?"

Jimin's sobs choked him as the blonde shook his head even more aggressively. "No," he whimpered, eyes squeezed shut and still spilling tears.

"Baby boy," Kook's palm touched his cheek, wiping most part of the tears away, "our daughter will forever be with us. If you want... If you want then one day we can try again. We can try however many times you want, my love. We'll be more careful next time, talk with the doctors more, get check-ups every day if need be. I swear to you, I will spend my life making a family with you. I love you so much."

"I love you, Jungkook."

Jimin could swear he felt Kook's heart squeeze as he said it. He felt his own squeeze, too.

"Come here," the man breathed, reaching out for his shoulders and drawing the blonde down on the floor with him, in his lap. "I'm so sorry this happened to us," Kook murmured against Jimin's hair. "We will get past this. We will try again. We will find a way to be happy again, and we will make our family. Together. Carefully."

Jimin just nodded, clinging to Jungkook as his boyfriend rocked them both gently.

"Thank you for telling me," he whispered against Kook's collarbone.

The man only hugged him tighter, vowing to never let Jimin go.

It will take time, that was true. But the time would be spent together, with support and love Jungkook and Jimin would share with each other and a wonderful dream in mind that one day would become their reality.

Nothing was determined. The loss of their child had not even crossed their minds before. But now they knew. They had a lifetime together and neither of them would ever want to spend it without the other.

Now they would do everything and more to be prepared when the time came to try again. And they would expand their family, and grow and care for each other.

But slowly. Carefully.

When they were ready.

A/n:
didn't really know how to finish the chapter. but there we go.
i guess you could say we are coming to the end...