I'm A Twenty-Two Year Old Widow And I'm All Alone...

A Message

Chapter Ten... A Message

 

It had been five months since Lucas' untimely death, and I still hadn't properly sorted through all of his belongings. My primary focus at the moment was our baby, the little gift he'd left for me. I couldn't have asked for anything better, and my smile widened every time I thought about how much the baby could look like Lucas.

I was, however, growing to like another man slowly. Ryan had come into my life at just the right time, except I was nowhere near ready to move into a relationship with him just yet. I told him he could date someone else until I was ready, but he understood my position very well, having lost his own wife three years before. And their daughter Anastasia was absolutely the most amazing little gift that Ryan had left. She was beautiful, friendly and she had warmed up to me more than I would have ever thought possible.

I was growing to love her as if she were family.

Ryan had to go out of town for a family matter, and he couldn't take Anastasia with him as it was adults only. When he'd pointed out he probably shouldn't go, I offered to babysit the young girl. I had looked after my nephews a fair bit, especially Nathaniel. And he was staying here, too. The kids both played in the third bedroom that my house had.

And I took a deep breath as I opened the side of the closet that was Lucas' belongings.

His clothes, shoes, wallet, cell phone and whatever else he'd personally owned had been stored in this cupboard by me when I felt I couldn't bear to look at it. But now, I felt that I needed to actually sort out his things before the baby came, and I would be spending all my time with my little bundle of joy.

I grabbed a box that was all bits and pieces from around the house, and started there.

"Aunty Carrie," I heard Nathaniel's quiet little voice come in behind me, startling me. "Can Ana and I please have a drink?"

"Sure," I gasped, standing up in a bit of a daze. The box had toppled to the floor as Nathaniel spoke to me, but I just left it.

"Can we please have a cookie?" Anastasia asked politely.

"Yeah, it's a few hours before dinner," I smiled, grabbing the cookie jar.

"Is your baby gonna be my brother or sister?" Nathaniel asked.

"No, it's your cousin, remember?" I reminded him, knowing that Chelsea had already told him.

"What about me?" Anastasia asked.

"No," I answered simply, thinking of how to explain it. "My baby doesn't have any brothers or sisters just yet."

"But if you and my daddy get married?" she asked, grinning.

"Well... then... if we ever do get married, yeah," I replied truthfully.

"See, Nate!" Anastasia said sneeringly. "Told you. My daddy's gonna marry Carrie and then they're gonna have lots of babies!"

The two kids walked away laughing, and I didn't quite know how to respond. I thought back over my words, hoping I didn't give them the wrong impression.

I walked back into our bedroom, and the box I'd dropped lay on the floor, contents spilled everywhere. I started picking them up, and a piece of paper with my name written on it drew my attention. I'd never seen this before... It was Lucas' handwriting, and I felt nervous as I held it in my hands. The perfect curves of his neat handwriting made my heart ache just a little bit, and I could feel my eyes stinging, knowing that tears were threatening to brew in them.