I'm A Twenty-Two Year Old Widow And I'm All Alone...

Starting To Actually Live Again

Chapter Five... Starting To Actually Live Again

I sat at home, awaiting my mom's arrival. My dad was out of town, but Chris was coming over, too. Chelsea sat opposite me, and I couldn't manage to stop smiling. Everytime I felt that amazing fluttery feeling in my stomach, I smiled even more. I still couldn't believe that I was pregnant, and that I was a couple of months' pregnant when Lucas died.

If only I'd found out sooner... he would've known.

A knock at the door startled me, and Chelsea leapt to her feet.

"I'll go let mom and Chris in," she smiled. "Just relax, Car. Mom's gonna be happy. It's not like me. You're not a wild teenager."

"Thanks," I smiled, laughing a little bit. First time I'd laughed...

"What are sisters for?" Chelsea asked, grinning.

It felt weird having my house all open and light and airy. But I came home from the doctor's and hated it being shut up all of a sudden. It was the strangest thing! My dark world was suddenly lighting up again, and I had my baby to thank for that.

"Hello, Carrie!" mom said brightly as she walked into my living room. "Uh... am I in the right house? You finally opened up all the curtains and windows!"

"Yeah, I'm feeling much happier," I smiled, standing up to hug mom.

"Well, that's good," mom grinned. "Chels, whatever you did... thankyou."

"Hey, it wasn't anything I did," Chelsea smiled. "It was something Lucas did."

"What do you mean?" Chris asked.

"Before he died," Chelsea said.

"Still... what do you mean?" he asked again.

"I'll tell you in a minute," I smiled nervously, and the three of them sat on the sofa opposite me.

I took a deep breath, and I thought about where to start...

"Okay, so I'm happy now," I began. "And uh... Chelsea did help in part. Because if it wasn't for her, I don't think I would have ever known."

"No, you would have," Chelsea winked with a laugh.

"Well anyway," I continued. "Before Lucas died, we'd decided to start our family. And... well... I found out this morning that I'm pregnant."

I looked at the expressions on mom and Chris' faces. They looked a little bit shocked, but I assumed this was the last thing that they were expecting. Well, I was the same. I didn't expect it either...

"Pregnant?" mom whispered. "Really?"

"Yeah, mom," I smiled a bit tearfully. "I wasn't expecting it at all."

"No wonder your clothes didn't fit anymore," mom said in a surprised voice. "And all the watermelons..."

"How far along are you sis?" Chris asked.

"About sixteen weeks," I grinned.

"Four months?!" mom asked, nearly falling off of the seat.

"I know!" I cried. "I was two months pregnant when Lucas died, and I wish I'd known then! But I didn't..."

"How didn't you know?" mom asked. "Weren't you late?"

"No, only after he died I was," I said quietly. "Otherwise I would've known. Because I'd been sort of getting my hopes up high, but I had my period twice whilst being pregnant. Or some sort of bleeding. But..."

"It's normal," mom smiled. "Oh, I'm gonna be a grandmother again!"

"I know!" I cried.

"Congratulations!" Chris grinned, taking me in his arms. I hugged him, and he put his hand on my stomach. "You know, you have a little bit of a bump there!"

"I know," I smiled, as I'd noticed it about ten minutes ago.

"Come here, baby girl!" mom squealed, taking me into her arms. She held me tightly, and then let me go and looked at me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You'd better start looking after yourself properly now, Carrie," she said seriously. "You need to eat properly, and go to med school... and do all the things you were gonna do."

"I know, mom," I answered with a smile. "I promise to look after myself. And the baby."

"Do you know what it is?" she asked.

"No, and I'm not gonna find out," I replied. "I want it to be a surprise, just like finding out I'm pregnant four months along was."

"That's reasonable," Chelsea said, smiling at me.

"I don't know how I'm gonna go doing this on my own," I said, sighing. "I'd never planned to become a single mom, but I wouldn't dream of a life without my baby, now that I know about it."

"You won't be alone," mom said, putting her arm around me.

"We're all gonna help you," Chris added.

"That's what family is for," Chelsea grinned.

I felt happy knowing I had the support of my family. It wouldn't be easy, being a single mom. But I would be making Lucas proud.