Last [E]xecution

A Monster Like Me

So I decided to do it. I had been thinking about it for a while. But I was going to kill 2B. For my past selves. For her to get what she deserves. And for my survival.

She dies, she only loses a few hours. Compared to the years she stole from me it was the least she deserved.

We had been wandering the desert for a while. We decided to rest up on the sand, looking up at the stars. She fell asleep but I stayed awake. 2B was smart. I considered hacking her but I don't know what she might have in her systems.

This is easier. Safer.

But as I stood above her, sword in my hand, I could not bring myself to kill her. I stood there over her for hours. It was so easy and yet so impossible. She looked so peaceful. It was hard to believe that she had been killing me all this time, robbing me of my memories and experiences. Finally, I just put my sword away and went to sleep.

The 2B I know...she isn't a traitor. She isn't a monster. She is...amazing.

I don't hate her. No matter what she has done, I can't hate 2B. I care about her. I can't let anything happen to her. If anything were to happen to her...

It's funny, really. I always wondered why it always felt like...like the feelings I had for her were always there rather than developed. Why I felt so strongly about her. Even though we met barely a month ago, I felt like we had known each other for years. Apparently, we did. Maybe some parts of the old 9S still remain inside of me. How is that possible though? None of their data got transferred, so how do I inherit their feelings? Possible proof of a soul?

If I don't remember those other 9S's, are they even me? They share my personality. But, I don't remember anything they went through. Just like I don't know what 2B went through. We are different people. And those 9S's are shaped by their experiences, meaning at the time of their death, they are also different people. So, has she even been killing me? Or just other androids that happen to share my name and face? Still, it doesn't make me feel better, knowing that one day she will come for me next. Still...I forgive her.

But these thoughts...these feelings...they begin to affect my actions. I'm a scanner, not built for combat. But lately my fighting ability has gone down. I don't know why. But in the midst of battle, for some reason I just get the idea to not try as hard, let 2B take a bit more heat.

If I don't hate her, then why do I want her to take more damage?

One time, a convoy of goliaths got the jump on us. I could see it attack 2B, but I did nothing. I watched them punch her into the air then grab and slam her into the rocks. I tried hacking them, but some thought, some worm in the back of my mind, kept slithering up, making me mess up my hacking attempts again and again.

One goliath switched forms so it could stomp her into the ground. She caught the foot, but it stood on that one leg to let its weight crush her. As it went to deliver the final blow, I finally hacked their systems, freezing them long enough for 2B to take them down.

I don't get it.

Seeing her thrashed like that hurt...and yet it felt good. I was scared for her and yet I wanted it to happen. I spent the next hour walking back to a local resistance camp with her broken body in my arms. She survived but was in desperate need of repairs. She was a lot heavier than what my model was designed to pick up. After ten minutes, my arms wanted to fall off. But I kept going. I didn't stop until I reached the local resistance camp because I couldn't let anything happen to 2B.