Ghosting || Choi Beomgyu

08

The atmosphere was filled with thick tension and on top of that the silence was making things worse but Beomgyu could care less about it.

Seated at the sofa in the living room, Beomgyu refused to meet the gaze of the person next to him.
He was scared that he might break down any moment after they make eye contact. Furthermore, he was also ashamed to let his best friend see him in this state.

Earlier today, a worried Soobin came frantically knocking on his brothers' doorstep.

It has been two weeks— two weeks since he has seen Beomgyu or even heard anything from him. It made him worried since the younger boy didn't reply to any of his messages or calls all of sudden and now when Soobin seeing Beomgyu in this state made him sad.

Here they are now seated next to each other but the younger avoide the older in every way possible.

"Beomgyu..." Soobin called softly "Are you okay?"

He placed his hand on the younger boy's shoulder giving him a comforting squeeze but Beomgyu stayed silent.

Beomgyu's lips quivered as he bit it hard to suppress the full waves of emotions that were trying to burst out of his mouth.
He didn't trust his voice and for that, he was not willing to speak.

Soobin sighed when he got no response from the latter and decided not to push the matter any further and let the boy speak whenever he is ready.

They both sat there for a few minutes in silence before Soobin got up and scanned the room.
Seeing how messy and how everything is all over the place, he decided to help his younger brother a bit.

He started tidying up the place slowly, throwing all the dirty wrappers and other unnecessary stuff, soon Beomgyu followed suit and also joined him. It was the first time in a while since Beomgyu decided to do something productive rather than just lying around and drowning in his feelings.

It went like that quietly until he saw Soobin almost throwing Y/N's belongings.

"Don't touch that!" Beomgyu snapped making Soobin stop in his tracks in shock from the sudden outburst.

Beomgyu felt guilty, he didn't mean to snap at the older like that... he just was scared and anxious that he might throw away what was left between Y/N and him.

"I'm sorry Hyung... I- I didn't mean to, I'll take it from here," The younger apologized quietly taking what was in the older's hand.

Soobin just let out a sigh and disappeared somewhere in the house making the guilt multiply tenfold.

Why do I always ruin things

Beomgyu silently cursed wiping away the little droplets that were threatening to fall. He felt so small and so vulnerable like a child thrown into this big world without any guidance on which way to go nor someone to tell him that this is wrong or this is okay or even feeling like this is okay sometimes.

The younger shook his feelings away and kept the trash at the door reminding himself to throw it out soon before they pile up more.

All that was remaining now was their belongings that he almost threw away now were scattered everywhere. He picked them up one by now, every pick made him more and more overwhelmed.

He held onto them as if he was holding onto his sanity. That moment is when he realized that he could not throw them away because he still misses her a lot and that he still wants her in his life even though his mind tells him otherwise. He needs her, the love for her flowing in him was aching him more that she was away.

Y/N was like his anchor and now she was not here made everything unbearable and those belongings was the only thing holding him down before he loses everything altogether.

Burying everything in his closet where it was before, he headed to the kitchen for a glass of water to find Soobin taking a pot of cooked ramen, placing it on the dining table before calling the younger to have a seat and eat.

The younger was hesitant looking at the older's face, studying him for any signs of anger or disappointment but there was none before taking a seat and hesitantly starting eating.

After the first bite, he found himself slurping away from hunger.

Soobin just looked at the latter fondly but at the same time sad because it seems like he hasn't eaten properly for days.
He wanted to tell him something but decided to wait until he finished eating.

There they were, the younger eating and the older occasionally pouring him a glass of water and warning him to eat slowly so he won't choke on his food.

Soobin smiled at his younger brother when Beomgyu looked up at him with his doe eyes when he finished the last drop of soup in the pot before they quietly stood and helped each other in doing the dishes as how they used to do when they were younger.

"Beomgyu..." Soobin stopped the younger before he could go anywhere making the younger look at him.

"You know that I love you right? Even though I rarely express it but I just want you to know that I am always here for you. you can always rely on me whenever things are tough. I'll always be here for you beom," He hugged his brother closely.

Beomgyu stiffened from the sudden hug before relaxing and hugging his brother back unravelling all his emotions.

For the first time in a long time he felt like he was not alone, he felt a sense of comfort that he didn't know he needed.
He felt safe in the arms of his brother just how he'd usually feel whenever he was young when he used to fall and hurt himself before running to his older brother crying.

Just like how his brother always told him,

"It is okay to feel sad and despair, you don't have to pretend that everything is okay"