My Life with Chris Brown

Missing.

Chris' POV:

"Bro I don't fuckin' know! She ain't answering the phone or none of my text messages!" I semi-yelled as I paced in my driveway.

I have not heard from my fiancé since this morning. No calls, no texts, no Instagram posts, no tweets, nothing on Snapchat, and she stopped sharing her location with me.

I'm bouta to lose it man.

"Brown calm down... I'm sure she's fine just give it some time." Red said somewhat calmly on the phone, which infuriated me even more.

"How much more time do I need?? I literally ain't heard shit since she left me this morning. Something is wrong bro I know it is. Did she say if she was going anywhere after the fitting?" I asked as Red said no.

"Man, why don't you call her mom or Tey or Sev to see if they've heard something."

"I don't want nobody to know that I don't know where she is."

"Chris it ain't bout what people think no more... it's about finding her." Red said as I scratched the back of my head in frustration.

"Ight bro... lemme see what I can do." I said stressing and closing my eyes.

Where in the world is my girl at?

Jay's POV:

"On My Own" by Tink played softly through the speakers as I sighed to myself. I wiped a few tears, and closed my eyes to collect myself.

I opened them back up and I stared out the window at the view of Sunset Blvd. The city lights danced across the sky as the moonlight shined.

There is so much I put into Chris, and honestly I am tired.

He's done me dirty several times and all I've done was be here for him through everything. I would never hurt a hair on his head. I thought we overcame a lot of things, but I don't even know if there is a we anymore.

I know my worth and I know what I deserve.

As I sat on the balcony, I closed my eyes again.

I tuned in to the sound of the wind and the moving traffic as my mind pondered.

I'm at a cross road. One half of me wants to believe that Chris actually grew a heart. I want to think that Chris wouldn't ever hurt me again. I want her to be wrong. I want to trust that she's lying.

But, my trauma is creeping up on me. Thoughts are coming to my mind. A wound that slowly healed had been reopened without warning and she came with evidence that is hard to justify.

There are things that just keep replaying in my head from my conversation with her.

She showed me pictures of her at the house... pictures of her in our bed laying in lingerie... my lingerie she claimed he gave her. That's wild and I don't know if I believe that one hundred percent. Chris has balls, but I don't think he has the balls to give us the same lingerie sets.

Aside from that... she played me a recording that broke me. Chris admitted to them having sex. He said he was "just trynna bust a nut."

It doesn't matter if it didn't mean anything... he still betrayed me... again....

Not only is that a bad chunk of it... she's walking around with a positive pregnancy test.

Look, if you were in my shoes, and your man has a history of doing stuff that lead to several breaks... then a girl whose been in the picture before plays a voice memo of him saying they smashed... then she presents a pregnancy test... what would you do? what would you believe in that moment?