The End of Summer

- Twenty Nine

He looks at me signing "Adisyn, when I tell you nothing is wrong I mean nothing is wrong."

"And when I tell you, you can talk to me I mean you can talk to me about anything. Is something bothering you? Do you want to go home, we can continue this another—"

"Adisyn!" He screams out my name which stops the birds from chirping for just a tiny second. His voice makes me jump "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,"

"Well you did. I would like that to be the last time you raise your voice at me without telling me what I did wrong!"

His expression softens but his jaw remains clenched "You didn't do anything wrong."

"You're making it seem like I did something terrible? Is it Tate? Is Rue okay? Are you okay?" I continue to ask every question that I can think of and every person I know he cares for.

He nods to every person I mention and by the time I have named every person the rain speeds up which makes all the little birds that were flying to fly away to the trees.

"Reed, talk to me please." I almost beg for him to tell me what's wrong and how I can help. "Tell me what is wrong." Why do I care so much whether or not if he's okay. A couple of months ago I didn't give a crap about him and now all I can think of is the message Tate sent me about Reed... About how we need to talk about Reed.

All I can recently think of is Reed fucking Auclair and I hate that I care for him like he's my best friend.

I hate that I care for him the same way I care about Ivory and Jade and Ezra when I have only known Reed for a couple of months. I hate that Reed makes me look at every possiblity he may be upset. I hate that I overthink everything Reed says because it scares me that he will suddenly do anything stupid.

The alcohol.

The pills.

The cigarettes.

Everything scares me.

God what I hate the most is that he makes me feel the fraction of comfort Reece brought me. I hate thinking about Reece as much as I hate thinking about Reed.

He looks at me just a bit longer and I feel the sudden urge to hug him. He licks his lips and continues to stare at me, I look at him back.

"I hate you."

You know when they say 'my heart dropped to my stomach' well you always try to imagine what they mean and I think I may have just figured out what they mean.

Those three words came out of his mouth so effortlessly and I don't know why but it's not one of our usual I hate you and the other one responds you love me. It's not a typical I hate you. It's not a I hate you that doesn't really mean anything... I know it's not one of those.

I can tell because the moment he says those words I have nothing else to say to him. I have nothing to respond. I just stand there feeling the light drizzle tap the top of my head.

I look at him one more time before nodding and walking away.

I've been here once I'm not going to make this my second time. I've been there once. I'm been here already. I know it.