5 (jaylor) forever fearless nights and a mirrorball spotlight

chapter twenty six.

"How lucky are we to get to hear that masterpiece?" Jimmy exclaimed, standing up and shoving a couple of tissues in his pocket. "Live and in person, right here."
Taylor's hands were shaking. They were trembling because she'd poured her heart and soul into this piece and it was over. It was out there in the world. It was more than a voice memo on her phone, more than lyrics on a piece paper. It was real. She'd just performed it for the world to hear.

That was daunting. In a matter of moments, the thoughts and opinions about her song would be plastered over social media. She'd worried about people and their reactions to songs before, especially with her re-recordings... but this was different.
But still, she managed to fake a smile and join Jimmy back on the couch.

Thea and Lizzie lay beside each other on the bed, waiting to watch the performance. They were allowed to watch it because they knew a little bit more than the other kids about Taylor's past.
"Do you think she's scared?" Lizzie asked softly, brushing her hair out of her face. "I would be."
Thea thought about her Mom for a minute before answering. "She'll be scared but I think she knows she's got to do it one way or another. She always says to feel the fear and do it anyway, so that's what she's doing."
Thea watched her mom walk onto Jimmy's stage, and felt pride bursting from within her. Her Mom was the most beautiful person in the entire world, she was sure of it. Her mom was one of those people that were gorgeous on the inside and outside, and she couldn't help but hope she could be just like her one day.
"Your Mom is so cool," Lizzie sighed, smiling at the screen.
Thea glanced over at her friend, and grinned. "Technically she's your Mom too, you know. And I'm technically your sister."
Lizzie laughed. "You've always been my sister, long before we lived across the hall from one another."
"I'm sure that Mom would love it if you called her Mom too," Thea continued. "She loves having you here."
"I'm not trying to take your Mom away from you though," Lizzie sighed.
Thea shook her head. "I know that, don't worry." Sometimes Thea did feel an awfully lot like Lizzie had come in and quickly become her mothers favourite, and that made her worried. But she knew that Lizzie had been a completely different person after she'd lived with them. Lizzie was smiling and laughing, she no longer kept her thoughts to herself. At the dinner table, Lizzie would speak and ask questions. When she'd first arrived, Lizzie hadn't said a word. She'd glance around the table... but wouldn't speak. Thea was proud of her.
"She's starting," Lizzie gasped, pulling Thea from her thoughts. "I'm scared."
Thea nodded, and the two girls clutched each other's hands, holding on tightly.

Joe sat in the wings, unable to see Taylor. He might not be able to see her, but he could hear her.
Heard the shaky breath in that she took before she started singing. His hands were folded across his chest as he peaked around the curtain. Taylor's back was to him, and he could see the goosebumps dancing across her skin. She was nervous and her just wanted to tell her it would be fine. He knew that this song would top the charts, would go viral. It had that tragic yet powerful tone to it, the anger so clear in her voice.
Taylor never failed to amaze him, and he smiled as he watched her.
He'd come up with the piano, the soft melody.
Taylor had walked through the hallway one night a couple of years ago singing a couple of lyrics.

Taylor was walking from Thea's room to Elena's room.
It was one of those times where she was finding it particularly hard to get out of her head, to stop thinking about Adam. About that part of her life. Although her years with Joe significantly outweighed her years with her abuser, those years still hurt. Sometimes she couldn't get rid of the memories, even when she used the strategies that her therapist told her about.
"They don't tell you about the dark side of love." Taylor murmured as she glanced out the window. The city lights twinkled in the distanced.
"The... the edges." She tan through the lyrics in her head, could see them forming a new song. "The jagged edges that cut you. The jagged edges that cut you when your... when your eyes are closed."
She roused herself from her thoughts and went into Elena's room to tuck her into bed for the night.