5 (jaylor) forever fearless nights and a mirrorball spotlight

chapter twenty five.

"So... Jack, it's me... Taylor."
It was two o'clock in the morning. She'd gotten caught up talking to Aaron because miraculously, he'd been awake when she'd called.
Taylor hoped that Joe had just gone to sleep by now. She hoped that he wouldn't have waited for her, because he'd been right. She'd taken longer than the few minutes she'd promise him it would take.
"So, long story short, I've decided that I'm going to release pink velvet memories. You're probably thinking... when?" She paused. "Well, if all goes according to plan, it'll be over the next couple of days. I'm going to perform it for Jimmy Fallon if he agrees. I just wanted to let you know before you turned on the tv and there it was." Taylor paused, sighing. She was excited to talk about it - she'd been waiting and waiting to release it. She'd been trying to decide on whether the release it as a single or within an album, but now was the perfect time. "So anyway, Joe thought I'd be in bed a couple of hours ago so I'd better go." Taylor laughed. "Goodnight- uh, actually, good morning when you see this as the sun is shining... like a normal person would."
She pressed the button to end the call, and in doing so, instantly felt lighter. She'd had this song recorded and ready to release for four years already.

Each time she'd thought about releasing it, she'd panicked. It was a song that was far too personal, in fact, it was one of the most personal songs she'd ever written. It was almost like she was cutting herself open and letting herself bleed out in front of everyone. At least, that's what she thought it felt like. It was a beautiful song, and she couldn't help but feel scared for people to hear it. She'd written about Adam and her time with him before, but this was to a whole different level. Of course, a lot of it was filled with metaphor and hidden meanings, but her fans were detectives and Taylor knew that they'd solve it all in a matter of hours. The last time she'd been this stressed about announcing something was when she was launching her business with Patrick. She was terrified.

Taylor moved from her piano to the kitchen, where she jumped in surprise when she was greeted by a hey Mom.
Thea sat at the kitchen bench, her curly hair sticking out in all different directions as it did when she was five.
"What are you doing awake?" Taylor pulled her daughter in for a hug.
"Why are you up? Usually you're always talking about how important sleep is and all that." Thea smiled as she took a drink of water.
"Sleep is very important. I had something else that was very important to do." Taylor paused. "Is something bothering you?"
"Do you think they're gonna say mean things about Lizzie?" Thea didn't meet Taylor's eyes. Taylor sat down beside her daughter, brushing a few strands of hair out of her eyes.
"They've always got mean things to say about all of us," Taylor sighed. "But that doesn't mean the things they say are true."
"But Lizzie's not used to it like we are." Thea was right, and Taylor knew it. Her children had grown up around the camera's, knowing that what they said didn't matter, knowing that they'd be watched.
"No, she's not," Taylor answered. "But we're going to have to help her learn."
"Does it make you sad when they always bring up Adam?" Thea asked. Taylor heard the hesitation in her voice, knew that she didn't know whether asking that question would be a bit much for Taylor to deal with.
Taylor shook her head. "It just makes me angry."
"Why?" Thea asked. "He's gone now, and they all know what he did."
"Because it's something that I can't seem to get away from," Taylor admitted. "But it's okay. It all led me here. To your Dad, to you and our family."
Thea nodded with a smile.

The next morning was crazy. It was full of last minute phone calls. Of children wanting cuddles and help with homework and little arguments about stolen pencils.
"Blake," Taylor said as one of her best friend's picked up the phone. "Have you got time for the quickest coffee of your entire life?"
"Are you kidding?" Taylor heard her laugh. "I think that I haven't had more than two sips of my coffee in seventeen years. I'll be at yours to pick you up in five minutes."
"Thanks," Taylor smiled. "I'll see you soon."
"Does that mean we get to see Betty?" Taylor heard Thea yell down the stairs. "Can Betty come over?"
"Don't worry, I heard." Taylor could hear her smile. "Of course she can. Ryan - can you make sure that Betty and Inez are dressed and ready to go? James is still at a sleepover." Taylor grinned as she heard her friend wait for her husband's reply. "Betty can't wait. Inez says that she can't wait too. We'll be over in a minute and then me and you can escape and leave Joe and Ryan to it."