5 (jaylor) forever fearless nights and a mirrorball spotlight

chapter seventeen.

The time that they got together after Christmas went by even quicker than Joe thought it would. It seemed like one minute, they were sitting around the Christmas tree, and the next? He was on the flight taking him away again.

It had been excruciating to say goodbye again. To leave them all. But Taylor had to get the kids back to New York for school, and he had to be back in time for filming to start up again. It was one of the most painful things he'd ever had to do, and he wasn't sure that he could do it again.
Saying goodbye to someone, or something you love the most in the entire world is the hardest thing, and Taylor found herself biting her cheek.
"It's okay," Joe murmured in her ear. "It'll go by really fast."
It wouldn't. Ten days had already dragged on for an infinite period of time, and their days together had slipped through beneath their feet far too quickly.

Joe reached out and took her hand. "It's not really a goodbye, you know." He told her as they sat down on the front steps together. Their fingers were intertwined, and they squeezed their hands tightly.
Taylor gave him a smile. "It doesn't make it any easier, Joe."
"I know." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I know. It's really hard. I know. I don't want to go back. But there's FaceTime and postcards and letters and phone calls. There's snapchats and stars and the moon."
"Two months is a long time." Taylor told him gently, and he felt his face soften.
"It is... but we can do this." Joe sighed. "And this is going to be my last film." He didn't know how Taylor would react to this because he hadn't exactly brought this up with her... and he got worried when she turned to look at him.
"What? But you love acting."
"I love our family more," he told her softly. "I don't want to have to be apart again. It's got to come to an end eventually. I'd hate to think I might miss something important because I'm in front of a camera on the other side of the world." He sighed. "I'd never forgive myself." He added.
"But... you say that being on set makes you feel-"
Taylor couldn't help but bite down on her lip. Because she knew that when he was acting, he felt alive. When she was on the stage, she felt the same way.
"I know," he grinned. "But I also know that I feel just as alive when I'm at home watching the clock for the kids to come home." He paused, and Taylor smiled. "I love being at home. I don't want to miss a thousand moments because I was in front of a camera."
Taylor nodded, understanding completely.

Taylor was relieved to be on the plane going back to New York. The morning had been extremely chaotic, a mixture of tears and goodbye cuddles. She had to be the strong one when it came to saying goodbye to Joe, had to make sure that she kept herself together. Even though it felt tempting to fall apart just like the kids. Even though she never wanted to let go. Even though she wanted to kick and scream and refuse to let him go.

-

In what seemed like no time at all - the kids were back to school.
"What are you doing?" Thea asked, suspicious of why Taylor was getting out the car to drop her into school.
"I'm picking up something from the office." Taylor lied. "I'll see you after school, alright?" She stopped herself from adding Theabear onto the end, because she didn't want to embarrass her like that.
Thea nodded. "Okay. Have a good day, Mom." Taylor knew she didn't believe her, but was relieved when she didn't press the subject any further.
Blake would be here too, they were seeing the kid's teacher this morning. To raise their concerns about Lizzie.
Because they'd talked about it a lot and they knew that they had to raise it with someone.

Thea was sitting in her history class beside Betty, when Lizzie came and sat down beside her.
"Why are your Mum's here?" She asked, and Thea's face contorted. Her Mom had said nothing about staying - only that she was picking up something from the school office. An hour and a half had passed since then, so what was she still doing here?
"Wait, what?" Betty asked, just as confused as Thea was. "Our Mom's are here?"
Lizzie nodded, shrugging. They were outside Mrs Green's office.
Thea could feel the panic sinking in. Was her Mom going to the school about how much she was struggling at the moment? Was she telling them all about her scars? Why she wouldn't wear her PE uniform anymore? She felt the panic get worse, until Betty put a hand on her shoulder.
"You alright, T?"
Thea just nodded. "Uh, yeah. I just realised I've left my textbook in my locker. I'll be back." She knew her text book was sitting under her jacket on the table, but fled the room anyway.