"Memories" -Jaewoo

{ 22, diary chapter }

Jungwoo picks up the diary and starts reading it.

I've never written in a diary before, but things aren't going very well so I decided I want to write about everything going on, maybe that'll help me get my thoughts and emotions back on track.
The pain and discoloring in Jungwoo's legs have spread up to his stomach by now, I hope by the time I'm reading this back he's been healed. I can't stand seeing him in pain. I'm kind of worried the whole thing Jennie and Lisa went through might be repeating itsself after all, but I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen.

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Hi again diary, today I asked Jungwoo to go to the park again, and we went there. He made me another flowercrown like the first time we went to the park together. I love him so much, he's so talented ♡
One thing worried me though, I told him about the messages in stars, but then when I looked up there was a message. 'Memories'
I have no idea what that means but I won't think too much about it.

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The discoloring on Jungwoo's body finally stopped spreading... Now let's just hope it heals.

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Dear diary, today Rosé and Jisoo visited, we had a lot of fun, but one thing bothered me. I've been having a lot of nightmare's lately about Jungwoo losing his legs or lower body, afterwards everyone in my nightmare starts blaming me. Maybe I shouldn't have relied on him to kill my father... I should've just been stronger and done the job myself. Anything that happens is my fault, and I'll make up for it.
Me and Jungwoo also played a word chain game today. Jungwoo started and his word was
'Me'. Then it was my turn.
'Earworm'
'Mosquito'
'Over'
'Ravioli'
'Ice'
'Eggs'
'S...'
I wanted to say 'sorry' or 'somebody', but I know Jungwoo doesn't know any words that start with 'y' so I gave up to make him win. But I realised something just now. If you take the first letter of each word we said, it spells out another word. 'Memories', I still don't know what it means. Why do I keep seeing it everywhere?
We listened to my playlist together after the game, it was my favorite song that played first. One sentence from the song stuck to me though. 'Oh, this could be the end of everything'. The song was 'Somewhere only we know' by Keane.
The end of everything huh... Maybe it's a sign...

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I had a nightmare again. I think everything is slowly coming to an end... If only there was something I could do.

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Today is going horrible so far but I'm trying to stay strong. Jungwoo's illness has spread completely and he has been put in the hospital, I still have to process everything. But I have an idea. If it comes to it and Jungwoo dies, which I hope never happens, I can revive him with Lisa's power and he can take over my place...
I'm going to rip a piece of paper out of here to tell him about the location of my diary, so that when he wakes up I can just leave him a letter telling him the location of the piece of paper and key of the drawer. After all we promised he would outlive me.

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Yesterday Jungwoo proposed to me. I was actually the one who wanted to propose eventually, but I feel honored that he was first. I love him so much. I know we will never get to properly get married so I'll just consider him my husband already. I just realised, Jungwoo will eventually read this diary haha... Jungwoo if you're reading this. I love you so much, I really wish it didn't have to end like this, but I made sure we kept our promises didn't I? Can you promise me one last thing? Please live on and lead the demon world without me, if you ever feel lost I'll be in the stars, giving you a message when you need one. Love you Jungwoo ♡ You can also take over this diary if you want or need it.

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Jungwoo's condition is getting worse. He looks so sad. I used to love looking at him. He was so beautiful, he still is. But it's not the same. I hate looking at him now, he looks so pale, so sick, it's killing me... It's cruel to say, but I wish he just died already... I can't stand seeing him like this anymore. He doesn't look the slightest bit happy at all. He looks like he's struggling so much. I just want him to be at peace. Jungwoo, I really love you, I want you to be happy and healthy. I won't be writing in here again because I feel like the end is nearing.
Jungwoo, we made great memories together, I'll always love you. My little sunshine ♡

Tears roll down Jungwoo's cheeks as he reads everything. 'Jaehyun, I love you too. I love you so much. Too much...'