Never Saw This Coming

Spring Break.

Xander

Rhys, Cgc, Chris, and I sit in the living room, already discussing our big plans for spring break this year. Last year we went down to Palm Springs and stayed at this crazy-ass resort Cgc's parents paid for. Since it's always his idea to get away for a couple of days during this time, he ends up paying. We all pitch in as much as we can though because we feel bad, but he doesn't let us most of the time. After all, his parents pay for it, not him.

This year, we're thinking Miami since we had a good time there whenever we went for the Orange Bowl. Christian doesn't think it's a good idea though because we'd have to be on a plane twice in the span of four days and tickets are expensive. Especially since everyone loves going to Miami for spring break. We're also considering our neighbor city, Los Angeles. It's not a bad choice either since we rarely get the chance to go because we're always so busy. Not even the weekends are worth driving all the way down there.

But it is spring break, so we rather do our partying anywhere else but school.

"Alright, alright. L.A. it is," Cgc finally says. He grabs his laptop off the large coffee table in the middle of us. "I'll see if there's anything available up there that we can rent close to the beach. If not, we're doing a hotel." We all nod and get back to watching the reruns of NFL games playing on tv. The NFL season ended not that long ago as well so we've been bored, watching reruns of most of our favorite team, the L.A. Rams. It's Rhys' favorite team since he's from Cali originally and Valdez has liked the team since moving out here.

Some of my favorite players of all time have played with the Rams so I've liked them for years despite being from New York. Cgc though, he's a big New Orleans Saints fan, so he doesn't bother watching the Rams play the Buccaneers on tv right now.

Valdez rises quickly when there's a knock at the door. It's probably his girlfriend. A couple of seconds not one but two extra voices come into the living room. It's Novalee and Maddy. Cgc's head rises at the sight of the two girls. "Oh hey Nova, you want to come with us to LA for spring break?" I don't think any of us would care since there are still three of us who are single. It's not like we'd be third-wheeling or anything. "Oh wow," she says.

She hesitates to look between Chris and Cgc. My best friend's eyebrows are raised like he's telling her to say yes. She smiles down at Cgc, "Sure." Her face flushes and she automatically turns to Maddy. "Can she come?" Cgc looks back up and his eyes flit to Maddy. "Oh, I didn't see you there. Yeah sure, you can come too." Maddy slaps his arm and he laughs, typing away on the computer. "Yes or no, ice queen?" he says, still not looking at her. She smacks his arm again and I snort.

"What did you call me?" she says through clenched teeth. "That nickname Xander made for you? Ice queen," he says easily. She turns to look at me. "You suck." Her green eyes shoot daggers into me like always. I stand by the nickname. I think it's very fitting actually. I only smile which makes her roll her eyes. Nova grabs her hand and they both sit between Rhys. "Hello? Yes or no?" Cgc says. Maddy turns back to him, "Sure." She glares at me when she says this.

She thinks she can ruin this mini-vacation for me? She's wrong. I look away from her, not wanting to give her any more attention.

"Hey, Xan. Come with me upstairs really quick," Valdez says. Everyone looks towards him, including me. I look at the fake watch on my wrist. "It's only 3:30 stud, we said we'd stop fucking before 5 o'clock," I say. A small smirk grows on his face. "Well I'm desperate, I can't wait another hour and a half." He stands up and motions his head upstairs. "Babe!" Novalee frowns. He mouths I'm kidding to her before looking back at me. I get up from the couch and he starts walking upstairs, I follow shortly behind him.

Once we enter his room, I close the door behind me. "I knew you couldn't wait, neither could I if I'm being honest." He flashes me a smile and shakes his head. I know why he brought me up here, the real reason. "Don't worry. I'll try to be civil with Maddy on the trip," I say. He nods, "That, and I just wanted to ask you if you're okay. I know your dads birthday is coming up soon and-"

"I'm fine," I cut him off.

Everyone knows about my dad's passing including my three roommates because well, they're my best friends and the people who were there for me the most. My mental health starts getting terrible around my dad's birthday which I fucking forgot about until Chris reminded me. Chris had to fucking remind me that my dead father's birthday was coming up. I would say that explains my declining mental health but that's not true since I hadn't even remembered about it until now.

Despite them knowing about my father, they don't know how much it actually affected me. The mental battle I fight with myself most days because of it. I choose to hide that part of myself from them and everyone else. Valdez inches towards me and places his hands on my shoulders. "I'm fucking here for you, brother. Don't bullshit me, okay? Not me," he says sincerely. I may have an actual brother, but I don't think I'm as close to anyone as I am to this guy.

I hate lying to him honestly. I know he'd support me and understand me if I just told him the naked fucking truth but it's hard for me to reveal all of myself like that. I don't think that's something I'm ready for. So I say, "I know. Thank you, man, but I swear, it hurts less now. If that's even fucking possible," I laugh, it's only a huff.

Regardless of having a shitty relationship with his father, Chris has always asked to hear about my relationship with my own. I kind of feel bad that he grew up with a shit dad. He deserves one exactly like mine. Despite having a shitty father, he turned out damn near amazing. That's just my opinion though. I know a lot of people who hate my best friend. Why? Well, he kind of puts himself off wrong.

He likes putting on this front that he's a guy with no feelings and a cocky motherfucker too. Some people don't take it that seriously while others do. I think he's definitely one of those things, don't get me wrong. But there's a deeper part of Christian Valdez that is only visible to a few. People hate him because they don't know the real him and that's okay. He's just like me, but better. Once he gets comfortable, he'll allow you to see all of him. Me? No matter how much I get comfortable around someone, I would never show anyone all of me. I'm not just protecting myself but them as well.

I'd hate to ruin someone else. It's the last thing I'd ever want to do.

He raises his hand and pats the side of my head, letting his hand fall back to my shoulder. "Whatever you want to feel, I'll feel with you," he says. I shake my head a couple of times, "I'd never want you to feel what I have to." I come so close to admitting what I want to tell him, but I don't. He furrows his brows slightly, but not in confusion. "If it means you not having to go through it alone, I'll feel what you feel and worse." I know he's not fucking lying either. God, I'm such a piece of shit.

I don't know what else to say, so I hug him. He doesn't hesitate and pats my back. "I love you too," he says. I didn't say it first, but I do love him. He knows this and I don't even have to say it. We both pull away and I look at his bed. "I think we should wait until after 5," I say to lighten up the mood. He rubs his lips, trying to hold back a laugh, but fails. "I think so too."