Rebound

1.21

The black miniskirt had a slit in the side that I usually hated but in this state, it was perfect. 

I slipped on some black sheer tights underneath, however, just to make sure I didn't have a wardrobe malfunction and flash the entire world my underwear. 

I topped everything off with the blue tank top that I'd been wearing the night Matthew kissed me in the nightclub, unknowing that it was his best friend's little sister that he'd been claiming. 

Taryn came through the door at half past seven that evening while I was putting the finishing touches on my outfit, running a straightener through my long hair a few times to make sure there weren't any stray waves. 

"Wow.  Um, you look hot."

"Thanks.  Sorry I've bee in and out lately, it's been crazy in my life recently."

She laughed, placing her book bag and rain jacket on the desk chair on her side of the room. 

Her side was decorated with posters and pictures and had loving touches from home, whereas I hadn't gotten around to the decoration portion of my move-in. 

"Don't worry about it.  I saw everything that happened yesterday on the news.  I'm sorry your family's going through all that."

"Thanks, that means a lot Taryn.  I know we probably didn't get a good chance to get to know each other, but I'd really like to be friends.  If that's okay with you, I mean."

The smile on her face grew three sizes before she strode over to me and threw her arms around my shoulders. 

"Oof," I wheezed out as her body made full impact with mine, but I didn't pull away. 

"Sorry, I'm a hugger."

I couldn't help but laugh with her as she pulled back, looking embarrassed and a little sheepish. 

I didn't think twice before hugging the girl again, her arms tightening around me like she was happy I hadn't made fun of her. 

"I think I'm a hugger too."

Or at least I was becoming one.  They were nice when they weren't forced in public for show or for social workers. 

I still had yet to be that forward with physical affection, except with Matthew.  With Matthew, I gave him my all. 

Which was why, instead of spiraling out of control and going to jump the cliffs in the pouring rain and possibly freeze to death, I made a new decision for myself. 

One that wasn't based off the trauma others had inflicted upon me. 

A decision that showed to me how utterly prepared I was to be healed. 

Just because you wanted something didn't make it true, though, which was why I'd almost fallen into my old patterns the day before. 

My bruised and scabbed up knuckles were proof of that, after all. 

"Okay, well, let me get out of your hair.  Looks like you've got somewhere to be on a Tuesday night."

I pulled away from Taryn and my cheeks immediately heated. 

"Yeah, sorry.  I'm going to see my--to see Matthew.  I've been avoiding him all day so I'm sure he'll be wanting an apology."

"Looks like you'll be giving him a whole lot more than an apology."

Taryn wiggled her dark eyebrows at me and I couldn't help but laugh at how emotive her face became when she was trying to be funny. 

"Maybe, maybe not.  I'd be happy just to sit and cuddle, honestly."