Self love

chapter 18

Sitting down in front of my mirror I started at my reflection for the longest while.

 When was the last time I really looked at myself? I had asked myself earlier and when I couldn't come up with an answer I decided it was something I needed to do. If I was going to love myself I would first have to find myself and then gain self-acceptance.

Making sure to clean my face and remove all traces of all make up I took a seat on the floor in front of my mirror and began my assessment.

What do I see when I look in the mirror?  

Describe what you see.

Do I like what I see?

Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10.

Am I happy with my reflection?

What is my favorite part of my body?

If I could change something about my physical appearance what would it be?  

I wrote down these questions in a journal I bought then began recording my answers.

Ok I said aloud taking a deep breath then I began.

I see a strong girl who has made it through a lot. I see a fighter who would rather die fighting than give up.

Staring deeply into my eyes I frowned. I see a sad lost girl with a damage heart and a painful past. I see a girl filled with sorrow and gloom.

She has beautiful chestnut brown hair, Small eyes, perfectly shaped nose, small pink lips, and pale skin. She’s just an average looking girl. There isn’t anything special about her, there isn’t anything that would make anyone double take or second glance at her. She looks just like any other girl.

I’m not sure if I like what I see. I don’t look like those amazing girls in the magazines or those girls on tumblr and pinterest. I wouldn’t even consider myself beautiful really.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I’m probably a 5.

No I’m not happy with my refection.

My favorite thing about my appearance is my.......

It took me about five minutes to finally decided that my favorite thing about myself was my hair. It was probably the only think on me that looked half decent. 

If I could change anything about myself I’d change everything but my hair. I’d just make myself more beautiful. I’d make myself look like the females society idolizes.

‘Was there anything wrong with my answers?’ I asked myself.

Yes everything was wrong with them. Sadly this is how most girls answer these questions. They aren't happy with their appearance. Almost 8 out of every 10 girls think they’re not beautiful or pretty enough.

We can easily point out everything that is wrong with us but find it hard to find at least 2 things that we like about ourselves.

 Society has messed up the minds of so many teenage girls today. They have made us feel as if we are not good enough unless we look like this celebrity or we’re not beautiful unless we have a boyfriend.

What happened to appreciating and accepting yourself for who you are and how you look?

Noticed I said I’d make myself more beautiful but what is beauty?

What is beauty? What does it mean to be beautiful?

To me beauty is the quality of a person or thing’s characteristics. To me being beautiful means to be of a high quality that is pleasing to others or one ’s self.

In other words to me being beautiful means to be amazing on the inside and out.

Beauty should not only be about the outward appearance because it is not only that which matters but also what one has on the inside. Outward beauty can be altered and will fade away but inward beauty will last forever.

If one appears to be beautiful on the outside but is ugly on the inside are they truly beautiful?

I highly doubt it.

You should strive to be beautiful on the inside at all times and the outward beauty will follow.

Morals and priorities are things that one needs to set straight.

What is it that matter most to you? Outward or inward beauty?

Would you rather live by society’s standard of beauty or would you rather live by your own?

Look in the mirror and take a good look at what you see.

That is you.

That is how God you made you.

Instead of focusing on trying to alter it and giving all you attention to the flaws.Focus on appreciating and loving what you see.

Accept all your flaws and imperfections because they are what make you who you are. Without them you wouldn’t be you.

And it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or what you use to think. I’m telling you now that you are beautiful. You are an amazing human being.

Your eyes compliment your hair and your hair frames your face perfectly and every other thing on your face and body is in accordance with each other.

You are a  10/10 believe it or not.

Kayli Elizabeth Jessica  Parker you are beautiful.

There is nothing about you that you need to change and everything about you is lovely. You should be happy with what you see because what you see is utterly and simply amazing.

You are one of a kind and there is no one like you. No one is as beautiful as you. You are perfect in all your imperfections. Just know that.

F*ck society, f*ck what everybody else thinks as long as you are happy f*ck everything.