Lilac

chapter twenty-one

Lilac's pov

My body feels heavy. Like a ton of bricks. There's a buzz in my ear. My eyelids are heavy, too heavy to open them. I slowly feel my touch coming back. But in ten folds. Everything is coming back to me and I calm down my senses. I feel hand holding my hand, like it's a lifeline. I recognise the touch but I can't seem to pin point who it belongs to. I can slowly hear the voices coming through. 

"They say her body is slowly retracting from the coma." a voice says. I recognise it at Dad's. 

What is he doing here? I thought he was still in the States. 

"They don't know how long it'll take. They actually think that she might stay in a coma for a few years." another voice says, Gary. 

I internally scoff. Years? Fuck no, I'm not going to be asleep for years. Hell no. I mean I like sleep but I like being awake much better. I focus on my eyelids again, trying to open them. 

"Do they know if her organs are okay? Do they know if she'll live?" I hear a very concerned voice ask, Cleo. 

I open my eyes but immediately close them again when a bright light shines straight into them. 

"I refuse to believe she'll die, have you met the woman? She will walk around with four bullets in her and she'll act like it's just a scratch." a voice exclaims, that's Gary for ya. 

I open my eyes again and they adjust to the light. 

"That's because they are just scratches." I force out of my mouth while trying to sit up. 

The person holding my hand shoots up. I look at them and see Nate. He has dark bags under his eyes, it looks like he hasn't slept for two days. 

"Lilac!" both Cleo and Mary exclaim while running towards me and attacking me in a hug. My hand is being released from Nate's and I already miss his touch. I look at him and it seems like he feels the same. He looks me in the eye and we both yearn for the other. Cleo and Mary get off of me and I can breath again. 

"Don't you ever do that again." Avian says while giving me a small hug. 

"Can't make any promises." I respond. He gives me a stern look, to which I raise my hands in surrender. 

"I'll go get a nurse." Avian says and Mary follows after him. She needs to tell me about that later. 

"I think you woke up because you missed my jokes." Liam speaks up while hugging me as well. 

"I think she wants to go back into coma because of those." Gary jokes while slapping Liam on the shoulder. Okay, something is going on here as well. "Good to see you're alive, cousin." Gary says before hugging me. 

"Yeah, thanks." I respond. 

"We'll grab you something to drink." Gary says and him and Liam leave. 

"You scared the living hell out of me, Lilac." Dad says while hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry. And as much as I love your hugs, your kind of cutting off my airways, Dad." I say while clapping on his back. 

"Sorry." he says after releasing me. 

"It's okay, I survived a coma, I'll survive this." I say and we both laugh. Dad looks to his right and clears his throat. 

"I'll uhm give you some privacy." he says before leaving a fatherly kiss on my head.

I sit up more while Nate walks over to my bed. He stands there awkwardly by my bed with his hands in his pockets. 

"You know, I heard everything you said when I was asleep." I tell him, fiddling with my fingers. 

He looks at me before taking a seat. He takes my hands in his and starts playing with them.

"You did?" he asks. 

"Mhm. I heard every single word." 

"Well I... I guess that's good, right?" he asks, unsure.

I smile at him. To be honest, his words were the confirmation I needed from his side. I didn't know what he thought about everything, where he stood on us. 

"Yeah, it really was." I say while giving him a smile. 

He stares at me, mesmerised. 

"I love your smile." he says with his own smile.

"And I love yours." 

The door opens and our moment is interrupted. Mary, Avian and a nurse walk in. 

"Alright, Lilac. I'll just do a few checks to see if you can go home." she says and I nod. 

The entire time she did the checks, Nate was standing close. Looking at me intently, listening to everything the nurse is saying. He looked so serious. When she finished, she explained everything to Nate into detail. He listen to her intently, not looking away even once. Once she was finished, she cleared me. I signed off and we were off on the road. We're only a few minutes away from one of the properties Dad has here. This one has two houses. One is a private house for himself, the other for other guests. I'm in the car with Dad, Gary and Nate. Dad and Gary are in the front, Nate and I in the back. I'm resting against the leather seats with my head on Nate's shoulder. His arm is around me while his free hand rests on my thigh. We quickly get there and all three of them walk next to me like I'll collapse any second. I roll my eyes and make my way inside. I ignore their attempts to bring me up to my room and go there myself. I feel Nate follow me. We get to my room and he drops my bags by my dresser. I look around before turning around to face Nate. When I do, he's already in front of me. I look up at him and feel myself stepping closer.

"Lilac! I'm going to the other house, come say goodbye!" Dad yells from downstairs. 

I quickly get away from Nate before making my way downstairs. I hug Dad as soon as I'm in front of him. He hugs me back before wishing us all goodnight and telling them to keep an eye on me. I roll my eyes and wave after him. I make my way back upstairs, I get to my door and close it behind me before locking it. I let out a breath of relief. 

"Lilac." Nate says and I jump.

I turn around to face him and see him only two steps away from me. I had expected him to have left.

"Nate." I say.

He moves a step forward and I move one backwards. He takes another step forward and I take another back. I hit the door with my back. He leans in a bit closer. His eyes almost at eye level with mine. I lean against the door to keep my stance.

"Lilac, I need you. Not just sexually, I need you in my arms. I need you to be with me all the time. I need to be with you all the time. I-I need you to be mine." he confesses.

My heart skips a beat. He wants me to be his. He wants to be mine. We're now leaning against each other with our foreheads.

"And I need you." I say to him a little breathlessly.

"Fuck Lilac, you're making it really hard to control myself." he says while dropping his head on my shoulder, his hands on both sides of my head against the door.

"Then don't." I whisper.