Every Bright and Broken Thing

Chapter Thirty-Nine - Liam

Pulling into the parking lot at Reagan High, I take a breath and hope for the best. Before I even make it to the front door, Theo comes up beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders as if that night on the road from Morrison never happened.

"Hey, man," he says. "Where ya been?"

"Around."

"I went to your house to hang, but your dad said you were out with friends. Now, considering I'm pretty much your closest friend, I found that mighty suspicious." He grabs me by the shoulder and turns me so that we stand face to face. "So. Where were you?"

"I just thought I'd go to that liquor store on the edge of town for a pick-me-up," I say, shrugging. My eyes linger on Theo. A pang of guilt pierces my chest as I think of how badly I've treated him. Ever since I've known him. He's been just about the best friend a guy could ask for and I've done nothing but wall him off and dismiss him. He was right to be angry the other night. But even through all that, here he is. The same Theo that he's always been – the very best kind of friend.

He nods as if deciding whether or not my excuse is valid. "Fair enough."

We make our way into the school and the moment we walk in, all eyes fall on me. It's like a dead silence has settled over the entire school. My heart plummets as I start down the long hall toward my locker. At my side, Theo seems just as confused as I am.

He grabs one of our classmates by the arm. "What's going on? Why's everybody staring at us?"

"They're not staring at you," the kid says. "They're staring at him."

I realize that he's pointing at me as he shoves a piece of paper into Theo's hands. His eyes go wide. Anger and shock radiate from his eyes like some alien death ray – hot enough to incinerate the page in his hands.

"Liam, you should go home," he mutters under his breath. Ignoring him, I snatch the paper from his hand and as soon as I see it the oxygen is sucked out of the entire school in a whoosh.

Scribbled on the page is an obscene illustration of my head on the body of a cartoon character in a compromising position with another cartoon character. But the worst of it is that the caption reads: Liam Greyson is a fag.

A tremble ripples throughout my body, every nerve and bone explodes in an array of invisible lightning. I study the picture for a long time. The whole school is watching me to see how I react. Without a word, I crush the paper into a ball and march down the hall, tossing the wad in a trash can.

I have to hold myself together.

hold myself together, hold myself together

too many pieces – too many to hold

can't breathe, can't think, can't feel

The hallway spins around me and I almost trip, but manage to keep myself upright. Will and Jace come running up to me. Somewhere in the distance, I hear Theo yelling at the students that have formed a circle of mockery around us – around me. Eventually they choose to shuffle to their classes rather than face the fury of their all-star.

When it's just us, I fall against the wall and slide to the floor. I bury my face in my hands, shaking my head and muttering unintelligibly.

Who could know?

And why would they do this?

How could anyone do this to another person?

too many pieces – too many to hold

All through first period, Theo makes it his personal mission to walk the halls and get rid of every single poster. He forces Will and Jace to help while I just sit there on the floor, unable to comprehend what's happening around me.

When he's done, Theo comes and crouches in front of me. "Liam, do you know who did this?"

I shake my head.

"Liam, look at me." He snaps his fingers to get my attention and I look up at him, face completely blank. "Why would someone do this to you?"

I stare at him blankly. I have nothing to say, nothing to feel.

"Bro, I want to help you. I really do. But I can't do that if you don't talk to me."

"Theo, I can't tell you what I don't know."

Jaw tense, he frowns at me, then stands to his feet and throws up his arms. Footsteps echo down the hall and Theo glances in both directions, but no one's there. "We should get to class."

I nod and drag myself to my feet.

"You guys go ahead. I'm gonna run to the restroom."

"Are you sure?" Will asks, brow furrowed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm not an invalid. I can manage to take a dump on my own."

He rolls his eyes and I cringe at my own harshness. "Alright, fine, man. We'll catch you later, I guess."

The three of them head to class and I move down the hall in the opposite direction. In the men's room, I turn the faucet on and let the cold water run. I cup my hands and stoop over the sink, lifting the water to my face, letting it cool me down.

"I thought I'd find you here," says a familiar voice from behind me.

I dart upright, face dripping, and whirl to see Darren smiling back at me.

"Oh, it's just you," I say, relieved. I turn around to face the mirror again,

"Man, you're a little jumpy, huh?"

"Well, it's been that kind of a day." I dry my face with a paper towel.

"I bet I could make you feel better, Liam," he says. Then, I feel hands on my waist from behind and freeze. He's too close. Way too close. His breath is hot on my neck as he shoves me against the countertop.

"What are you doing, Darren? Get off of me!" I try to shove him away, but he grabs my wrist and whirls me to face him, pressing himself against me.

"I hear you're easy, Greyson." His eyes are wild, hungry, ravenous.

"Where did you hear that?" I say, teeth clenched.

"Y'know, Liam, when I heard you tell your girlfriend about your little secret, I was shocked. At first. And then I realized that this could be an opportunity for both of us to get what we want."

Stacy. He heard me tell Stacy.

Before I can react, Darren mashes his face against mine and tries to kiss me. Eyes wide, I let out a grunt and knee him in the groin. He shouts, buckles, and staggers backward. I swing my fist and punch him square in the jaw. This sends him to the floor, unconscious and bleeding.

Breathless and horrified, I tower over him. My mind races. I have to get out of here. I turn to leave the restroom, but before I do, I turn back and spit on Darren. Half to cleanse my mouth of what just happened. And half to get back at him for it.

I leave the restroom and run. Stumbling, careening. Down the hall. Out of the school. Across the parking lot. Far away from every wrong thing that has ever happened and will ever happen to me.

The problem is that I'm tired.

The problem is that nowhere is far enough.

The problem is that they'll never stop chasing me.

Darkness doesn't die – it only breeds in the absence of light. And all the lights in the world have gone out.

As I run, a whisper comes that says, All but one.