A New Start

Chapter 9

For a split second you were terrified. Terrified that this man can hurt you, like actually hurt you. What the hell were you doing in here? you thought to yourself. He can use his hand and crush you at any time. But this wasn't the case. He grabbed on to you but not in a threatening way, it was in a tight embrace. 

"Shh, it's ok" you held him, running your fingers through his hair and down his sweat covered back. 

He held onto you with all his strength, and you had to fight with all your power just to keep from being crushed by him and falling backwards. 

"It's ok" you kept telling him over and over.

After what felt like 30 minutes but was probably a minute, he released you from his grip but was still sitting up in bed. 

"Nightmare?" you asked looking into his clouded blue eyes trying to make them focus on you. 

"Yeah" he replied blankly.

"Do you have them a lot?" you asked holding his hand for comfort. 

"All the time" was his answer. 

"Hang on"

You got up to head to your room and grabbed a bottle of water and came back in. 

"Drink a bit of this, it'll help" you handed him the water. 

"Thanks" he took a small sip.

"Look, I don't need to know the details of the nightmare and I am sure you don't want to talk about it but is there something I can do for you? Anything at all?". 

He looked down for a second and thought about your words. 

"If you can sit with me for a bit, I think that will help" he said softly. 

"Sure, thing Bucky, I can stay with you" you put your hand on his arm. 

"The nightmares seem to come and go" he looked down. 

"Sometimes I have them and sometimes I don't. I can never find a pattern of when they are going to happen and how intense they are going be. I know they are getting a little better since my time in Wakanda, but I still have them" he looked over at you.

He grabbed a pillow and put it behind him to prop himself up, so he wasn't lying all the way down. You continued sitting on the edge of his bed holding his hand and telling him he was safe, and things were ok. 

You didn't say much else to each other, but you saw that he drifted off again. You watched him sleep for a little while longer, making sure he was ok. Something about watching someone sleep felt very intimate so you decided he would be fine as his breathing slowed back down and his facial features looked more relaxed.

You took the bottle of water that was next to him and put it on the nightstand so it wouldn't spill. You pulled the blankets up to him and without thinking, gave him a kiss on his cheek goodnight then headed to your room. 

The rest of the night you tossed and turned listening every so often for any more noise coming from Bucky's room, but it was silent.

The next few months were about the same. The odd time you would hear Bucky and comfort him at night. He thanked you and appreciated your understanding while he works through the nightmares. He seemed to be getting better but still had a few bad nights. You also seemed to be hanging out more and more with each other. At times he would just come into your room and chat about the day, weather, or whatever silly thing Sam was doing.

He asked you about the music you played, and you even sent him a few of your playlists to listen to. You would join him in his room showing him the latest funny video you saw online or meme you found funny. You were really developing a nice friendship between each other, and you enjoyed having him around.

There was a small overnight mission you and Sam had to go on. Bucky was hesitant at first with you going on a mission with Sam, but it was only a surveillance mission, and no weapons or fighting would be needed. You assured Bucky that you and Sam would be fine, but you knew he was worried.

"I'll be fine Bucky" you walked into the hangar with Sam. 

"Yeah Bucky, we'll set up our location, take some photos, eat some bad takeout, then be back in no time. I'll keep your Livy safe" he winked at Bucky. 

You glared at Sam. 

Bucky's face went red, and he looked away. 

That remark seemed to make Bucky tense up, but you had to get going. 

You gave Bucky a quick hug and reassuring smile, then you and Sam were off.

You returned the following day with your notes and photos without any issue whatsoever. You liked working with Sam and wanted to do more missions with him, mainly because he was the most entertaining to be with. He kept things light, yet he was focused when you needed him to be and was always there for you. 

Bucky waited for you outside of the communications room until you and Sam were done with your debriefings with Steve.

"Hey Bucky!" you exited the room. 

Sam was right behind you and slapped Bucky hard on the arm. 

"See, I told you I would have your girlfriend back safe and sound" he smirked and scampered away. 

"Ignore him" you rolled your eyes while walking to your room. 

"I'm glad you're back" Bucky lightly smiled then he turned  to leave. 

He looked relieved yet he was nervous. 

"See you later Bucky" you said to his retreating back.