Just Pretending

eighteen

James

"James will you please invite her overrrr" Piper whined at the bottom of my bed, Riley and I had just finished our duet rehearsal and I know for a fact she wanted to go home and relax before we were back at it tomorrow
"Pipes, no" I replied
"You are no fun" She pouted walking away
"James, the door is for you!" I hear Piper yell, I furrowed my brows. I had no idea who it was and by the sound of Piper's tone whoever it was, was not welcome 
"Who is it?" I called not wanting to leave my bed
"Come down and find out!" Piper yelled back in the same tone. I groaned before finally being able to push myself out of bed

As I walked down the stairs I could see Piper glaring at the front door. Who the hell pissed her off
"Get her out of here" Piper spat making me look at her confused before I opened the front door once more to reveal
Beth

"What are you doing here?" I asked closing the door behind me so that Piper didn't pounce
"I came here to talk to you" She muttered trying to grab a hold of my hand
"Why? I asked shaking off her grip 
"I miss you James" she said merely making me look at her confused
"Shouldn't you be with oh I don't know? Your boyfriend?" I asked and she shook her head taking a couple steps towards me shaking her hips as she walked
"Save it Beth, I'm not interested" I said and she looked at me like I'd just killed her cat
"I know you are James, just break up with the little ditz and come back to the one you belong with" She smiled
"Do not talk about Riley like that. She's the biggest fucking upgrade from you" I said moving away from her
"Oh come on, it's not like you actual like her!" Beth yelled and I scoffed
"You're right, I don't like her Beth. I love her and that is more then I could ever say for you" I said before covering my mouth realising what I had just said. I had never thought that much about it... But I guess over the last few months, I've grown to love Riley in a way I didn't know existed

 "You do not" Beth spat grabbing my arm
"Yes, yes I do. I love Riley and no stupid little game of yours is going to change that!" I yelled before shaking my arm out her grip and walking back into my house
I don't know how Riley feels about all of this but I for certain am not going to drop that bomb for multiple 

I don't think I could handle her not feeling the same 

I don't want to complicate things for her

I don't want to ruin what we've built..

That's the hardest thing about all of this, Riley and I just seem to mesh, no matter what we do, how much time we spend together we never get bored, we never run out of things to talk about. It's one of the easiest things I've had in my life and it's truly made me realise that this is exactly what love is about
It's not about materialistic things, it's not about who can be all over each other around other people, it's not about sex and it most certainly isn't about jealousy. It's not what I felt with Beth..
What it is, is family game nights, being able to pack up a picnic and enjoy it at the drop of a hat, those sweet little surprises. It's everything I feel and do with Riley
It took me this long to realise it but I don't want to let that girl go and I most certainly do not want to lose her either..