I Might Miss You (I Might Need You book 2)

Chapter 54

Dustin follows me into the bedroom and shuts the door quietly. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, the painful anxiety settling in. I frown to myself.

I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to feel scared or nervous. I want to enjoy the rest of my time here in peace, in the utmost happiness with Dustin. I don't want to think about Wesley's voice on the other line when I spoke to him. The slurred, drawn out angry tone he took with me.

I walk over to the bed, sitting down and staring at the floor in a stupefy. Dustin goes to his side of the bed, removing his clothes and slipping a pair of plaid sleep pants onto his bare body. I don't even bother to look up. I'm not in the mood.

"Nova, come to bed baby." He whispers, sitting on the bed behind me. Pulling me into his embrace, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and moves the hair away from my neck, planting several small kisses against the nape of my neck.

"I think I'm going to take a shower." I mutter, pulling myself away from him.

"Do you want me to join you?" He asks. I turn around, force a smile, and shake my head no.

"I need to be by myself for a bit. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, beautiful. I'll be right here when you come back." I scoot off the bed and walk towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I turn the water on boiling hot, strip my clothes down, and climb into the shower. The water bounces off of my skin, hitting me like a thousand little needles all at once. But this is just what I need. I need something to take my mind off of everything.

I don't know what to do anymore. The press already has several pictures of me and Dustin, so our secret/not so secret relationship is out of the bag. Everyone knows that Dustin was with some 'mystery woman' and the press is going to do everything in their power to find out who I am.

It's already bad enough that Wesley found out. The sound of his voice when I spoke to him just sent shivers down my spine. He sounded so hateful, so upset. I can't blame him though. He probably just opened his phone to be bombarded with news articles, saying his wife was with a guy at a restaurant in New York. I don't know how happy I would be either.

I'm just scared for when I return home. I can't have the life I obtain with Dustin. I wont be with him every second of the day like I have been these past two days. Everything will go back to normal, sneaking around like some forbidden 16 year old lovers.

I can't imagine my life without Dustin now, and the anxiety builds in my chest when I think about not having Dustin. He is my safe place, my rock. He holds me down when I feel like running. He keeps me steady when I feel off center. He loves me when I don't feel loved.

I just want to keep that. Forever and ever until I leave this earth. I cannot be without him from these days forward. I love him. I honestly love him with everything about me, and it hurts me to think that I could have been with him my entire life.

I could have said no to rehab and made a life with him. I wouldn't have to meet Wesley, or I wouldn't have to fall in love and marry him. I wouldn't have become so deep with every single part of his abusive mindset.

Then I start to think of what would have happened if I stayed with Dustin. I honestly don't think we would have lasted, and for some reason, these past few months, they've changed my life meeting him again. I wouldn't have Elijah, my beautiful, beaming son. I wouldn't have my life with him, and I don't know if I could live with that.

I turn around, opening my eyes and looking up at the tiled ceiling. I love him. I love Dustin so much. It is real and we are the best at whatever this relationship is. I need him, mentally, emotionally, and physically.