All Things Wild and Beautiful

51. Eyeing and Admiring

Fenrys' throat bobbed as he held her gaze. Nascha waited expectantly, her thoughts spinning with questions and answers. Mates. They were mates. Of course. Everything made sense now. Her instincts and emotions. His instincts and emotions. Their desire for each other. Their need to care for and protect one another. They were mates.

Fenrys opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again. He turned away, raking his fingers through his hair and planting one hand on his hip as he thought. "How long have you known?" Nascha repeated.

He didn't look at her as he replied, "I began to suspect when we were in the refugee village with Elide and Lorcan after the Revolutionist's first attack. I don't know when I realized it. I've known for...a while. I think I knew what we were before the Midsummer's Eve ball. If I didn't know before, I knew after." Fenrys looked back over his shoulder, swallowing hard. "That night was the first time I felt this."

Nascha tensed as a short tug came across the tether in her chest. No, not tether. It was a Bond. A Mating Bond. "Me too," she said, and returned the gesture. "Why didn't you tell Aelin, or the others?"

"I couldn't tell them. I didn't want them to know because I was afraid that if they did, they would use our Bond against you somehow." Sincerity shone in Fenrys' onyx eyes. "I was afraid they might use me to force you into becoming Lady of Arcelia."

"I don't think your friends would do something like that."

"I don't either, but my fear remains and I can't get rid of it. I have been used against my loved ones and had them used against me for...almost my entire life. I will not be used again. Especially not against you."

Nascha stepped closer to him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel trapped in Terrasen, or trapped with me."

Nascha tilted her head and her braid fell over her shoulder. "Why would I feel trapped with you?"

"You did at first," he said with a wry smile.

"At first, I hated you and wanted nothing to do with you. Now, I know you. I love you. All I want is to be with you and help you. I do not feel trapped with you."

"Do you feel trapped in Terrasen?"

Nascha swiped hair out of her face with a sigh. "I'd be lying if I said no. I've felt trapped in Terrasen since I was brought here. Despite your efforts to give me space, I still have no freedom. I'm watched everywhere I go. I'm not allowed to leave the kingdom. I'm not allowed to carry my weapons anywhere besides the Bane's camp unless we're coming here to train."

"I'm not allowed to leave places alone when we visit. I couldn't even go outside and walk around the garden without Aelin, Elide, Lysandra, or a guard with me for the past few days I've been awake. I'm surprised they left me alone in here for as long as they did." Nascha sat on the edge of the bed and Fenrys followed suit.

She laced her fingers with his and Fenrys lifted her knuckles to his lips. "What I said before is still true," Nascha said. "I would stay in Terrasen with you, but not without my freedom. I want to be able to come and go as I please. I want to be treated as a regular person, not a valuable captive. I want your Court to see me as you do."

She looked away, half closing her eyes. Fenrys continued to kiss her knuckles as he listened. "But I don't see how that's possible. I can't become Lady of Arcelia. No matter how many times I say it, no one seems to understand. They're relying on me, even though I've told them they'll be disappointed. When that happens, they will never see me as anything more than that. A disappointment. A failed investment. A misplaced pawn."