All Things Wild and Beautiful

24. Reigning Confusion

The artwork above is not mine.

◦ ~ ❘ ☼ ❘ ~ ◦

A week had passed since they returned from Arcelia. Nascha found herself caught in a tide of confusion that she couldn't seem to escape. She went about her usual routine, trying her hardest to act like nothing was wrong. She didn't know what she would say if someone asked about her behavior. She didn't know how to explain what she was feeling.

Being back in her old home had dredged up many painful memories that now refused to be staunched. She dreamed of her family almost every night. Sometimes when she woke, she thought she heard them calling to her. They were...haunting her. Haunting her dreams. Her waking hours. Following her every footstep. She couldn't rid herself of them.

Their ghosts brought her questions about Arcelia. Was she doing the right thing, refusing to take her place? Would she find peace if she became Lady of Arcelia? If she did everything within her power to stop her people from going to war? Would that bring her family peace? She knew it wouldn't be easy. She couldn't accept Aelin, Rayan, and Eliora's terms and just find a replacement for herself.

Even if she took her place, there would still be people clamoring for war. Not everyone seemed to agree with Rayan and Eliora's promise of peace for six months. Already, there were reports of extremists stirring up trouble. Nascha had been forced to stay in the Bane's camp one night while Fenrys, accompanied by Rowan, Lorcan, and Vaughan, went to inspect the damage done to one village.

She didn't mind the brief break from Fenrys' company. She was confused in regards to him too. He still infuriated her. His constant supervision was driving her insane. She wasn't sure how to react when he flirted with her. And he was flirting with her a lot, both in private, and in public.

It was all she could do to keep herself from blushing when he teased her. She claimed her blush was from anger and embarrassment, but she wasn't sure that was actually the truth. The way her stomach flipped in response to him made her think otherwise.

Fenrys hadn't brought up their pact again since they left Arcelia, for which she was grateful. If anyone learned about that, she was certain she would die. Nascha hadn't spoken of it to Aeron or Lysandra, and she had no intention to.

She didn't want to tell Aeron because she knew he would tease her about it, likely in front of Fenrys. She wasn't worried about Lysandra doing that, but she was worried that if she told her, Aedion would be the next to know. If he found out, it wouldn't be long before the entire Court did. That was the last thing she wanted.

It was probably the last thing Fenrys wanted too. Nascha couldn't help but notice the change in his behavior when he came to the Bane's camp to watch her train. Every time Aeron touched her, teased her, or flirted with her, Fenrys grew tense and irritated. The same thing happened to her, especially when Fenrys hopped into a sparring ring with an opponent and the female onlookers made no move to hide which parts of him had caught their attention.

Some of them liked to study his bronze chest when he removed his shirt. Others let their eyes linger on his sculpted abdomen. Most of them chose to look just below his hips. Fenrys never seemed to notice, but Nascha did. It was all she could do to keep herself from giving a warning snarl. She settled for glares that usually sent the groups scattering when they noticed her.

Nascha couldn't understand her reactions. It was completely irrational. Why should she feel so...possessive, of him when she hated his guts and had no claim on him whatsoever? If Fenrys noticed her behavior, he made no comment on it. She did likewise, but with each passing day, she was becoming more and more confused.