"Guilty"

~My Fallen world~

My world has fallen apart. All my friends are gone, but they're not important anymore. My family has become a bit separated, my brother and my mom are enclosed in the main bedroom. My father is enclosed in jail. And me? Well my drinking and smoking has stopped. But my seeing David has not. He would sneak in daily just to see me.
Then one day we were talking to keep my mind off of everything, then he kissed me which turned into a full make out session. His hands started traveling to places that should not be touched, and I stopped him.
He asked me why I stopped him and I explained that I didn't feel right about giving up one of the most precious things in my life that I had to treasure, at least not under these circumstances.
I told him that I loved him but it just didn't feel right.
He shook his head, came up with an excuse then left.
After that night, he started acting strange, he wouldn't answer my calls and he would ignore my texts.
So one Saturday I headed towards the "clubhouse" which was actually his best bud Jack's house.
When I walked in, I was met with mean glares and rude remarks, but I ignored them because I came here for one reason, and a one reason only. To see what was wrong with David, and why all the sudden ignorance.
I walked towards the "VIP " area which was actually one of the bedrooms, that we used to hang out in.
Before I opened the door I heard weird noises, so being the curious cat that I am I opened the door, just to find David and my ex-best friend.
David and Maria were getting at it, they didn't realize that I was standing there until I gasped, they looked and saw me standing there. But what they next knocked the breath out of me, they went right back to doing exactly what they were doing leaving me totally shocked and shattered.
I ran home, and as soon as I came through the door, I broke down in tears, and cried my heart out.
Then the people that I should've cared for came to the rescue. My mom came and hugged me and rocked me side to side, in attempt to calm me down.
"He *sob* broke my heart *sob* mom."
"Who sweetie? "
"D D David " Then it all came out. Everything that I've done, just poured out. I told her everything. The drinking. The smoking. The attitude. The failing grades. I explained everything that was going through my mind and all she did was shush me because the tears just wouldn't stop falling. I told her what happened between me and David, and what I walked into. She just continued her routine to calm me down and I couldn't be more thankful for this loving mom. Then I remembered all the rotten things I've done to her, yet she still shows that she loves me. She could've ignored me or even throw me out. Yet she still comes to the rescue, and show me that she cares. She's a total angel compared to what I've been to her.
I love her with all my heart and if I could erase all of the pain I caused her I would. She's the best mom anyone could ask for. I don't know what I would do without her.
My cries have finally died down but my tears are not yet dry.
I loved him, how am I supposed to get over him, and what he has done?