CHAPTER - 01

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It's the day, finally! I can't believe I'm actually doing this. A part of me always wanted to escape this town and start all over again....away from the daunting memories.

"Jessica!" I hear my mother call after me from the living room as I bind my hair into a ponytail.

"Coming!" I finish doing my face and glance at my room one last time to check the order.

I'm supposed to check in my dorms at University of Central Washington, Seattle and not admitting to myself that I'm nervous will be a lost cause. Sucking in a deep breath, I unlock the door and wander into the breakfast bar where my mother is, making coffee and setting plates for breakfast.

"Are you ready for the big day?" Mother averts her gaze on me and smiles fondly as I pass her the cream for the coffee, ignoring the apprehension of waterworks on the way, any minute now.

"Let's hold that question until Monday." Because my classes don't start until then; I sigh inwardly.

"But you're going to be alone there honey, I just want you to be sure of everything." Ah, my mother. She is always so protective of me; not that I blame her-it makes sense after everything we've been through together but an escape in the name of college is just what I need. 

"I thought you wanted this as much as I did." I've been working really hard for this day since the beginning. I kept up with my grades, worked with clubs and did pretty much anything just to never get into community college.

She props her arms on the tabletop. "Honey I want this, I still do. I'm just concerned, that's all." 

"You have to trust me, Mother. Don't you?" I'm afraid to know her answer abruptly. This conversation isn't helping me anymore and besides, this is my last chance to start all over again with what little I have with me.

"Of course, I do Jessica." she says steadily as she sets the plates on the table and we take our seats.

Blowing the steam off of the surface of the mug. "That settles it then." I take a cautious sip from the mug. 

"I don't doubt your judgment here." 

She eyes me gingerly and my brows knit. "Okay?" 

"I just want to be sure that you're not doing this out of spite but for yourself." The mug lands on the table with a soft clatter as my gaze fixates on her.

"And what does that supposed to mean?" I inquire harshly and she glares at me; my lips purse. 

"Terrance is in Seattle-"

 "And that's a concern?" I sound agitated. Boy, this conversation will drive both of us insane. "Why are we even talking about this?" I roll my eyes and drink the coffee as she looks away, and I sigh deeply, "You know what? I can't afford to be late today and this is probably my last hour here, so can we please? Just finish this without anticipating horrible things about the future?"

We finish our breakfast quickly and thankfully, the tension diffuses.

****

It's a pleasant day in Montesano and the traffic isn't bumper-to-bumper massive while Mother pedals through the freeway. Admittedly, my mother is my confidante, best friend and my whole family. She inspires so much strength and that paints my world with hope which has always been my reason to be a better person.

Popping my head out, I admire the panorama of the campus as Mother drives past the imposing gates towards the parking lot of the dorms. It's mind-blowing, ancient yet so elegantly modern. The weather in Seattle.....I love it.

Sliding out of the car, I adjust the hem of my dress and she smiles warmly. "I can already tell how amazing this is going to be." She slides her shades off her face and I squeal lowly.

"Right? I can't wait for the classes to begin."

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you in?" she asks softly and I shake my head,

"This isn't kindergarten." I raise my brows and hear her chuckle.

"You'll always be my little girl." She draws me to a hug and rubs my back up and down to comfort me; it almost soothes me.

"Are you gaining second thoughts?" I ask evenly and her eyes glisten under the lights; my heart breaks a little. "Mother," I prod softly as I take her hand and smile weakly, a semblance that always has me at a loss because my method acting skills aren't as sharp in front of her.

"No honey," She lowers her gaze to the asphalt ground and squeezes my hand gently.

"Well...are you worried?" I need to know if my decision upsets her. I can't go against her since it's been the two of us since a long, long time.

"Just a little sweetie," she looks into my eyes and my brows furrow.

"Well...is this about Father?"

"Partially, yes," She sighs. "You've never lived very far away from me Jessica, it scares me." Yes, that pretty much sums up my sheltered life.

"Fair enough," I mutter, "How about I call you often and you check up on me on weekends?" I raise my brows expectantly and her lips curve to a sweet smile.

"All right." Perfect!

"I love you," I hug her with a sudden urge to sob. I'll miss her so much.

"Don't you ever forget who you are." she demands and I shake my head.

"Never," I promise.

I was raised to be strong and independent; she has instilled a set of values that can make me win wars and I don't dare to forget any of that. I may not have been in luxury like a lot of my peers in High School but I certainly was privileged while growing up to be the person I am today.

"I shouldn't hold you back," She smiles through her tears and I know that feeling. "Call me when you need something okay?"

"I will." I smile sweetly at her regardless of my heart melting in my chest as I wave my hand and watch her drive out of the campus after a short while of last minute pep talk.

****

I shove the key to unlock the door of my room and step into a....trash can. Hmm. Talk about a massive cringe. I advance to the comparatively cleaner side of the room and drop my bags to the floor. Thank God, I didn't have my mother walk me to the room. She'd have freaked out and for all the right reasons. Jeez.

The posters on the wall are quirky and so out of my taste. The tables have dried coffee stains with plastic cups and the floor is covered with papers and wrappers, and pillows and undergarments? This room is garbage to say the least; and I can feel my siprit splintering away...just a little. 

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This is my first draft which I will get back to polish and edit. I hope you like what you read and I will see you guys next time. <3 

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Thank you for reading! 

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