Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

trente-huit

a/n:

nothin but a shameless plug for ppl who don't have my socials  because i'm lonely. look in the comments >

hit me up lovies, i wanna talk to uuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!! <333

december first! 

summer has officially hit! so excited to finally get to the beach, ugh! 

im very much a water baby

billie eilish, november 15th

los angeles | CA

"we're back home now, sweetheart," lilou's faint coaxing made me stir from my slumber. her hand was resting on my thigh, rubbing her thumb gently back and forth. "hey there, little love" the parisienne smiled, watching me slowly come around. 

it felt like i'd only been asleep for five minutes.

i looked around lilou's car, trying to remember what was happening. she giggled to herself stepping out of the vehicle. 

lilou walked around the front of the car and opened up my door. "c'mon sleepy lady bug, let's go inside where its warm, it's getting pretty chilly out here" she said holding out her hand for me. i whined softly and unbuckled my seatbelt.

i grabbed onto the older girls hand and got up out of the car. "your parents home?" she asked me after locking her car. i shook my head, "with finn" i responded quietly. "okay," lilou smiled warmly.

she pushed open the front door of my house and we headed inside. "do you wanna sleep some more?" lilou asked me. as much as i was tired now, i knew if i slept any longer i wouldn't be able to sleep tonight so i decided against it.

i shook my head, "can we eat something though?" i murmured. "sure we can, what do you have i can make for you?" lilou asked walking into the kitchen, me trailing behind.

"i was just about to say grilled cheese, but then realized you cant have none of that" lilou said making me giggle. i sat down on one the wooden dining chairs and pulled my legs up, my eyes following my girlfriend around the kitchen as she gathered ingredients from my cupboard.

♡

"can we just watch a movie, please?" i asked wiping my lunch residue off my cheek from where  i still sat sat cross legged on a dining chair in my kitchen, in front of my empty plate. "not feeling it?" lilou asked, referring to all the things we had planned to do earlier, in the car on our way to the pool.

i shrugged, "i feel kinda weird"

"what do you mean love, is it to do with the regression? or something completely different?" the older girl asked taking my plate and putting it in the sink.

"i think so, i feel like im stuck between being big me and little me" i explained with a sigh.

"that's no good bumble bee, maybe we should just watch a movie hm?"

i nodded and got up off the chair, following in suit behind lilou to the living room. she sat herself down on the couch and relaxed into the leather. i sat right beside lilou and curled into her side, staring at the blank tv screen.

she picked up the remote and started to scroll through netflix. "what do you feel like watching, darling?" she asked looking at the different genres. i shrugged into her. "how about you tell me when you see one you like, okay?" lilou asked. i agreed.

after searching for a few minutes i tapped on lilou's shoulder making her stop swiping. "see something?"

i nodded and pointed to the screen with a slight dust of blush across my cheeks.

365 days

"billie," lilou said half laughing, "you realize this is just a porno with a plot, right?"

i nodded into her, "i- i havent seen it yet, and, and maybe watching it will get me out of this weird thing" i explained.

"are you sure?" lilou asked, i nodded again. "alright, but if you get uncomfortable tell me"

i agreed and she pressed play on the movie and put her arm around my tiny body. i bunched up a handful of lilou's shirt and snuggled closer as the opening scene started to play.

about half an hour into the movie i started getting ancy. wriggling around every ten seconds, couldn't get comfy or sit still. "you alright bee?" lilou asked looking down at me.

my cheeks flushed and i turned away, how the fuck was i supposed to tell lilou that it was turning me on.

at least it brought me out of headspace...

i pulled my legs up and started to play with my feet, ignoring her question.

"billie, i'm talking to you sweetheart"

i looked up at her, still not responding. "do you want me to pause it?" she asked, pointing the remote at the tv.

"no! i mean, no, don't turn it off"

lilou furrowed her eyebrows before something seemed to have clicked in her brain. "do you... like this?" she asked now pausing it so she could talk to me.

i whined at the loss of the movie and the confrontation i didn't want. i rolled further away from the french teen and buried my head into the couch.

of course this is happening.