FROM THE ASH AND SHADOW

Hope And Other False Gods

She gave me a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay, we can talk whenever you're ready. I'm here." She extended her arm for me, "Everyone is by the lake having dinner, they're waiting for you."

I had seen the lights around the gazebo flicker on a while back but I made nothing of it, it didn't even cross my mind to see why.

I felt too sick to eat but I wasn't going to let Kali walk all the way here for nothing so I'd just enjoy the company and the evening. I dusted off the loose dirt from my dress and turned to Rae before taking Kali's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, bud.''

Kali rose to her toes and picked a cluster of apple blossoms from a low branch and laid it on the still fresh soil of the grave. They had buried him while I was still unconscious and in a way, I was grateful. I didn't want to break down in front of everyone and I knew I would have.

"It was nice meeting you Rae. May your Great grant you peace."

We strolled down to the lake in a comfortable silence as the sun sank deeper into the horizon and like she said, everyone was gathered around a table in the gazebo, laughing and talking, everyone except Sai. He seemed lost in his head, he didn't even see me approach.

Erin and Asli ran up to me the moment they caught sight of me though, tackling my waist in identically tight grasps that knocked the breath out of my lungs. "Soli! We're so glad that you're okay. Asli had been crying the entire night.''

''So were you!'' Asli glared at her sister before peering up at me with softer eyes. ''Are you okay?''

I stroked her dark hair and sent what I hope was a reassuring smile her way. ''I'm good.''

She seemed satisfied and gave me one last squeeze before dragging Erin towards Aunt-Drea who was sitting by the bank. I was bombarded with hugs from uncle Tomas and Jules as well, both said how happy they were that we were okay and shared condolences, and I said the same empty words I had been repeating: 'I'm okay, thank you,'

Rae had no family, it had always been just him until I came along and took him into my small circle. I guess that's why I had been so eager for him to meet the others, to give him the family he never had as a thank you for his friendship. But I just was too late for him.

I took the only empty space next to Sai, but he pulled me onto his lap instead and wrapped his arm around my stomach, resting his head on my shoulder. Everyone gave curious glances at our proximity, but no one said anything about it, only continued with their conversations.

''Why didn't you tell me you were leaving this morning?'' We were close enough that even though I spoke in a whisper among the surrounding noise he heard what I said.

His free hand played with the hem of my dress, rolling the fabric between his long fingers. ''You seemed tired. I didn't want to wake you.''

''You should've woken me up anyway,'' I took his hand in mine, the one that was he was using to distract himself, and laced my fingers through his. ''Don't go without saying bye, okay?''

His lips brushed my shoulder blade, placing a soft kiss there. ''Okay.''

''Any news about... Lilauae?''

Sai's eyes grew darker with the mention of her name and his fingers tightened around mine. "None. It's as if she disappeared into thin air.''

''Maybe she escaped through a portal?''

He shook his head and a dark strand, the same color as Lilauae's fell into his eyes. The grey of his eye and the black-blue of his hair had always been peculiar, only now I knew why. Mother said high Fae of the night court tend to share certain attributes, the raven hair and the shadow magic, for instance. It just never clicked because Dècalthians couldn't crossbreed, but I was living proof against that and in some odd way, so was Sairen.