Save me

Part 9: Falling

"Hey mum" Meredith said quietly as she sat down on her bed.

"Hey Meri-love, how are you doing?" her mother replied on the other side of the line. After their amazing breakfast together, Andrew went to take a shower, so Meredith went over to her apartment and called her mother, like every Friday morning.

"I'm- okay" Meredith replied, not actually wanting to lie to her mother but not wanting to worry her. "Meredith. I've been your mother for eighteen years. I know when you're lying." Alice Grey replied. "I uhm- the nightmares are back, and I didn't get much sleep last night." Meredith sighed as she laid down, cuddled into her huge pillow.

"Are you taking your medication?" her mother replied worriedly. "Yes I am." Meredith replied softly, closing her eyes as she laid her phone down next to her head on the pillow. "Have you eaten?" Alice then asked after a short pause. "Yes, I- actually someone cooked for me yesterday and this morning." Meredith answered, the brightest of smiles on her face which although she couldn't see her, didn't go unnoticed by her mother.

"Someone cooked for you? I know Michael doesn't cook. He'd burn down the kitchen without even turning on the stove... Just like you." She chuckled which made Meredith giggle as well.

"Yes someone cooked for me and no it was not Michael." Meredith gave back, knowingly talking around the subject, teasing her mother which she knew hated it when she did this.

"And are you planning on telling me?" her mother replied impatiently. 

"It's my neighbour. His name is Andrew. He is at Michael's age and also a med student. And he is absolutely amazing. I first met him when I locked myself out again about two weeks ago, and although I was stuttering like crazy and really not talkative, he sat with me until Michael came to help me. And he is my tutor and helps me with the things I've missed while I was in the clinic. He also invited me for coffee once and last night I- had a pretty bad anxiety attack and he stayed with me the whole time and held me. And he cooked for me. Pasta. It was just completely amazing. The best thing I've ever ate. After dinner we watched like eight episodes of friends. It's his favourite show too and he built up a mattress with blankets and candles and light chains and we had carrot sticks. And- I had a nightmare that night and- he held me the whole night and calmed me down just by being there it's just- magical." Meredith rambled, not being able to stop smiling the whole time.

"Well, that sounds like someone is happy" Alice said warmly. "Yeah" Meredith breathed. "You had an anxiety attack yesterday?" she then asked, concern being audible in her voice. "Y-yes... I d-don't really know what triggered it. We were studying and I just- broke down." Meredith replied, the smile slowly fading from her face again.

"Maybe you should call Dr. Wyatt and-" but Meredith was quick to cut her off. "No. Not going to happen."

"Meri-love, I just want you to be okay. I'm sitting here at home all alone, two hours away from you and Mikey. I need to at least know that you're doing okay." Alice said in a broken voice which made Meredith give in. "I'm sorry mommy... I just don't- I'll call her if it gets worse, okay? D-did you even pick up on the fact that I had pasta for dinner yesterday?" The young girl, cuddled up in the pillow, said with proud.

"Yes I did, and I'm so proud of you baby." Alice replied. "I'm not a baby Mom" Meredith chuckled but her mother just gave back: "You'll always be my little baby."

"So- this Andrew guy... he seems nice..." the woman on the other side of the line then said teasingly. "Yes, I really like him." Meredith gave back, closing her eyes and sighing. "I'm happy you found a friend."

"Me too. And he really is amazing. He's completely into cooking. He calls meals 'art pieces' and they really are. I-uhm... told him about my eating disorder and he didn't even judge me a little, he even encouraged me to eat something. I just feel safe when I'm with him."

"You know what?"

"Mhm?"

"That sounds like you are falling for him." Alice smiled, happy her daughter was finally able to find a friend and it sounded like he really cared about her.

"I- I'm n-not. I don't... we're just friends I guess... I mean- how would I even know I've never had friends before." Meredith replied sadly.

"Do you have a weird feeling in your stomach when you're with him?"

"Yes."

"Do you think of him when you're not feeling very well?"

"Yeah..."

"And do you sometimes whish he was with you when he's not?"

"All the time- what are you trying to say?"

"Well, I guess you're falling for him, little one."

"Is that a good thing? I've never been in love before." Meredith admitted slowly, burring her face deeper into the pillow.

"Yes Mer, that's an amazing thing. Being in love is one of the most amazing things about life."

"But you and d-dad- H-he... you were in love with him too and he-" Meredith stuttered, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Meredith, yes I was in love with your father but what he did was- terrible and absolutely not right. And just because I was in love with him doesn't justify any of what he did. Also I know that it's not always like this okay? Not every man you fall in love with gets- uhm... I just think that... What you've told me about Andrew shows me how much he cares about you and how much you care about him. So I'm 100% sure that he is not like Steve at all. He won't ever hurt you. I mean- he cooks... so I guess he wears an apron, and I don't think that boys wearing aprons and calling their meals 'art pieces' are capable of harming the tiniest animal." Alice chuckled, trying to light up her daughters mood which indeed worked since Meredith giggled quietly.

"Thank you mommy" she said softly, the smile back on her face. "Always little one. Thanks for calling me, I gotta go, I'm actually meeting someone for lunch." Alice said.

"Okay, have fun, love you." Meredith said, sitting up again and taking her phone into her hand.

"Love you too Meri" Alice gave back before she hung up.

Meredith sighed, falling back into the giant pillow. So she was falling in love with Andrew? She never had much experience with love... The only two people she had ever seen being in love had been her parents. But they had gotten divorce after- well... after what had happened when she was eleven.

But her mom was right. Andrew would never hurt her. She was safe when she was with him.

To be continued...