Chapter 23: Mae Kazimi

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Chapter 23: Mae Kazimi

It's getting dark and I sit with my head hanging low, eyes staring emptily at the ground under my feet. I am naked from the top except for the black bra that I wear and I no longer feel the pain because I am numb.

Since the morning, I've already gone through three torture sessions and sometimes, when the man is not there torturing me with my own knife, I miss him. I would rather have him tearing my skin apart than have to sit quietly for hours and feel nothing and utter numbness as exhaustion threatens to knock me out.

I did faint once. It was not until five minutes later I woke up to ice-cold water splashing on my face. The water made my wounds sting ten times worse and had me panting in seconds.

Now, I sit with my head bent, silence stretching on and on and on. It is mental torture, leaving one alone with their wounds and hands tied behind a chair with nothing to do but think and think. I am tired of thinking and no matter how many times I will my mind to be quiet, it does not listen.

I've lost quite a lot of blood. At one point, I could hear the pitter-patter of my blood falling from the chair and onto the floor below. I feel dizzy and weak, and I am hardly unable to put my head up.

Whoever is playing this sick game will pay.

It's been about twenty minutes since my last session. I know because I've been counting. One of Hale's training sessions for Me, Avery, Kai and Rashid was what to do if we were kidnapped. Or worse, tortured.

"Use numbers to keep yourself sane," he'd said as he slowly paced the arena's many training rooms. "Either keep track of the time or countback by nines starting from a thousand."

I'd tracked the time when the pain was slightly less. But when I was suffering to the point I felt like I was going to die, I'd counted backwards by nines, starting from a thousand.

I now understand why he told us to do this.

It was to keep our sanity.

"Nine hundred and ninety-one....nine-hundred and eighty-two....nine-hundred and seventy-three...."

I feel my body shudder violently and I close my eyes and clench my jaw to keep from crying out.

And then I hear footsteps.

A lot of them.

I have no idea what's happening and I don't care. I continue to stare at that specific spec of dirt I've been staring at for the past few hours and continue to count under my breath, loud enough so my voice reaches my ears.

"I think she's finally gone insane," a voice laughs from beside me. "He would laugh his head off if he saw this."

"Shut it, make sure she doesn't escape. We have intruders."

I don't know who's talking and I don't know what's happening.

What's happening? What intruders?

"Nine-hundred and thirty-seven....nine-hundred and twenty-eight....nine hundred and...."

I hear gunshots and I hear a lot of yelling. I hear bodies falling.

But I don't stop counting, a stray tear falling down my cheek as the pain in my body intensifies.

"Nine-hundred and ten....nine-hundred and one....eight-hundred and ninety-two...."

I think the world must be ending if I feel so much pain. Or perhaps I am already dead and I am reliving the moments before my death? Perhaps this is karma.

I feel something cold against the top of my head.

The muzzle of a gun.

"I'll shoot her if you get any closer," the man says threateningly. "I'll shoot her!"

Who is he talking to?

"Eight-hundred and seventy-four....eight-hundred and sixty-five-"

"Shut up, bitch!" the man hits the muzzle of the gun on my head, painfully. "Keep talking and I'll-"

BANG.

I see blood squirt onto my shoes and I tightly shut my eyes, taking a deep breath to continue counting.

".....Eight-hundred and forty-seven....."

"Mae," and suddenly Alek is there and his voice is soft and I can feel him untying my hands. My eyes are still shut and I'm still counting because if I stop, I'll start to cry from the pain.

"....Eight-hundred and thirty-eight.....eight-hundred and twenty-nine...."

"Mae," he whispers again, and this time, he's holding me and I don't know how but I just know I'm in his arms.

I remember that I'm supposed to hate him and I flinch when he gently brushes hair from my face. I don't look him in the eyes, not even when he carries me out of the warehouse, making sure to not touch my wounded back.

I don't open my eyes nor do I stop counting down by nines. It's the only thing keeping me sane if I stop, I don't think I'll be able to hold back the screams of pain and tears that will follow after it.

"Who did this to you?" I hear Alek murmur in my ear. I feel him shake and I can't tell whether it's from rage or it's something else.

"Seven-hundred and ninety-three....seven-hundred and eighty-four...."

I think I heard him whisper, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," in my ear once but I must be dreaming because I no longer know what's real and what's fake anymore.

Perhaps all of this is a dream and I am not real. Maybe Alek is what I hate most about myself and he has been sent to haunt me. Perhaps the day in the warehouse and the torture sessions were a lesson. A lesson and a warning.

Maybe the pain isn't even real and maybe it's a figment of my imagination.

Am I real?

I'm slipping in and out of consciousness when we began to move. We're in a car I think, I'm not sure.

These days, I'm not sure about anything.

But it's okay. I'm okay.

Everything is going to be okay.

____________________________________

Guys im going to be super duper honest bc people like honest people and say that i got the counting back idea from tokyo ghoul my beloved kaneki proposed to me yesterday and suggested i do this and we are in love and expecting our twelfth kid soon pls congratulate us in the comments thank u AND NO SPOILERS OR I SWEAR I WILL KILL OFF EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS BOOK AND DISAPPEAR FOREVER

not that anyone cares and im literally threatening the wall rn but its fine

like and subscribe if ur hot thx

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