BILLIE'S NIGHTMARE

Chapter 31

I layed on my bed facing the ceiling. I clutched the acoustic close to me, shutting my eyes and remembering him. Tears ran down both my temples so fast, I thought it would never stop.

Sniffing, I ran my hand across the instrument. I held the neck and head accordingly and started strumming the strings. I sighed in semi content when a pleasant tune escaped. I remembered Josh's arms around me, his warm hands atop mine as he led my fingers across the strings. I took in a deep breath, hoping to get his scent but was only filled the mine. I hummed along to the music and tried to remember the sound of his voice. I tried to imagine he was the one singing. But instead, I heard my own voice. It echoed across my empty bedroom as if it were taunting me.

The weight of my own anger burdened my heart as I lifted myself off the bed and gently placed the guitar aside. I needed to wash my face. I needed to relax. I know now that the demon likes my anger. It feeds on it like a preditor would devour its well deserved prey after months of starvation. I couldn't satisfy it. Not after it took Josh from me.

As I walked passed my dresser, I couldn't help but spare a glance at the mirror. I stopped dead on my tracks and turned towards it.

Josh was right. This wasn't me. I took in my paler skin, my dark blue hair and how it brought out my eyes, making them seem darker. My baggy clothes sagged on my body and hid every bit of skin beneath it. I looked back into my eyes.

Hallow. They were hallow. Lifeless and empty. For the first time in sixteen years, I had no idea who I was looking at. When I was younger, it was Billie. Not long from now, it was Elizabeth. But now...now it felt like I was looking at a complete stranger. It didn't feel like me.

The reflection in the mirror moved, although I knew that I didn't move. It opened its eyes and I saw pitch blackness in them. A smirk stretched its lips. Lips that looked like mine, hair like the mine and body like mine. But not me.

"You're not Billie," I said into the mirror. "You're a liar. And you're a coward. You hid behind me just as you did Whitney. You're disgusting." I spat. My fists were clenched at my sides as I spoke. The anger boiling inside of me was almost unbearable. I wanted, no, needed to break something. To hit something. Throw something. Anything.

As I looked at the monster in front of me, my fury escalated. It wasn't at all affected by what I had said. My words had past through its ears like wind through a tree.

"Did you hear what I said?!" I demanded. "You're a liar! You lied! You said you'd help me but you only made my life worse. What did you want from me, huh? Why me? Why not anybody else? Why me?! Tell me! Talk!"

I gripped the dresser to prevent myself from losing control. But the smirk on its face had my resolve crumbling.

"ANSWER ME! WHY ME?! Out of everyone in this world, WHY ME?!"

Before I could stop myself, a growl vibrated on my throat and the chair that was by my study desk was in my hands and I swung it towards the mirror. Glass shattered and fell all around the dresser, some slicing my skin, but not doing any major damage. I panted heavily and gripped my hair with utter frustration. I was still feeling with spite and anger.

I looked up to see the corner of the mirror still standing, and there is could see its face scowling at me. Suddenly, its mouth opened and a loud howl sounded across my room, shaking everything that stood on its ground.

I lost my balance and fell to the floor, my hand landing on a piece of glass and reopening the scab on my palm. I hissed and grimaced, lifting my hand from the glass. I couldn't get up again or else I would fall once more, so all I could do was try not to get cut again. My eyes flew across the room until they landed to my bed. Josh's guitar was at the edge of the bed and it tumbled to the ground. The piercing sound of howling was long forgotten as I rushed to keep the instrument from suffering any damage. But my hope was cut short when my bed slid through the room and collided with the guitar before it banged against the wall.