BILLIE'S NIGHTMARE

Chapter 28

"NOOO!" I screamed bitterly, my throat burning.

Just as Josh was about to meet his end, something gripped my waist and pulled me away.

"Billie, are you insane?! You almost fell right off the edge!" Cane's voice scolded. I struggled in his hold, jerking and wriggling, but he held me closer. He kept me tight against his chest, trying to keep me still.

"No! Let me get him. Josh is down there! Please! Please, Cane, he'll die. He can't die. Let me help him!" I screamed as I tried yet again to get him off me.

I struggled and shook and pounded and hit and kicked my legs until I was exhausted. I gave in and sobbed hard against his chest, gripping his shirt to seek anything that could comfort me enough. But it didn't work, which only worsened my sobs.

"Shhh, it's okay..." Cane kissed my head, rubbing his hand against my back.

I remained in his arms for what felt like hours upon hours doing nothing but weeping. Cane mumbled soothing words against my ear and rocked me back and forth to pacify me. I wanted to stop crying, partially for his sake but also because I wanted Josh. I refused to believe he was gone. He would never leave me. My parents left me, my brother left me, Tìo Carlos betrayed me. He's not like that. He wouldn't abandon me.

But as I sat curled up in Cane's arms on the soggy grass, my sobs becoming ragged whimpers, I realized something I didn't want to. That he was gone. Josh was gone and it was my fault. Mine. The only person who understood me, the only person I was able to be myself around, to be happy around, I had let them slip away.

I could still feel his lips against mine, his fingers digging into my skin. I could still hear the sound of his voice; teasing, playful, passionate. I could feel his ragged breath on my skin when he kissed me like I gave him breath, like he would much rather have my kiss than oxygen itself. And not so long ago, he had told me for the second time that he loved me. Somebody loved me. And now, he was gone.

He was gone because of her. How could she do it? How could she when she knew how important Josh was to me? She's supposed to be on my side. She said she'd help me. She promised she would. She's a liar.

Dirty, cheating liar.

"She lied, Cane." I whispered against his chest. "She said she'd help me but this isn't helping me. Why would she do that? Why would she take him of all people away from me? I loved him and...and he loved me, too." My voice broke at the end, and more tears began to run down my cheeks.

Cane held me closer and kissed the top of my head again. "Tell me what to do, Billie."

"I want Josh." I whispered back. Part of me hoped he would be able to give it to me. That Josh would magically appear and tell me it was all a dream, or a cruel joke. But it didn't happen. And no reply came from Cane for minutes. But he finally spoke, soft and gentle. For the first time, his voice was broken. He didn't bury his emotions away like he always did. He didn't hide how he felt from me.

"I'm sorry," he kept saying against my ear, over and over and over again.

I knew what it meant. It meant that he couldn't give me what I wanted, what I needed most. That useless word was enough to tell me that there was no way of bringing him back.

"I hate her." I said, "I hate her so much, it's killing me."

"I know."

Silence. Silence was enough to get my thoughts in order. I knew now that I wanted her gone. I didn't want her anymore. She was supposed to do what I wanted her to, but she misused her power. She took over when I didn't ask her to. She's bad. Just like my mother, just like Tìo Carlos, just like everyone else in this shitty world. But instead of showing it, she pretended to be good. She acted like she was going to help me. I don't need her, not anymore. She's a liar. She's not Billie. Billie wouldn't lie. Billie wouldn't kill Josh. Billie wouldn't kill anyone. She lied. And I'm going to get rid of her. But first, I had to find out where she came from.