..but I still want you // OT7 [COMPLETED]

29 || Damn It, Hoseok!

I smile gently.. at my shoes.

"I decided then to give you a child, Hoseok."

My wide shocked eyes dart up to meet Jova's.

"I knew the way that man looked at his child would be the same way you would look at ours. I knew that you would stop at nothing to make sure the child felt every ounce of love you had to give."

My voice cracks as I reply. "Jova, I-"

"You have no idea the pain that comes along with a tether break."

I don't speak. I hang my head in shame.

"The child ran back to me for a final hug before leaving and then I felt it. At first I thought it was just new emotions for this new tiny friend I'd made but it began to hurt. The painful twist in my gut nearly made me vomit."

Jova's tears slowly make their way down her cheeks. "I couldn't breathe and it felt like my ovaries were ripping themselves to shreds, but I held it together long enough to hug this tiny being and watch him leave with his father. Then I excused myself to the restroom and I promptly fell apart on the floor."

I feel like shit. Staring at my partn- ex-partner as she tries to hold in her hurt and anger makes me feel like shit even more, so I do the only thing I can think of.

I take a step in Jova's direction.

"Don't you fucking come near me!" She growls, holding out a hand to stop me.

I've always been stubborn, so I take another step closing the gap between the two of us and encasing Jova in my arms.

"Let me the fuck go!" She screams, hitting my sides and back with all of the energy she has.

I hold her tighter.

"I fucking hate you, Hoseok Jung! Get off of me!"

Her slaps and punches are still strong and after hitting me in the same spot multiple times, it does begin to hurt but I don't stop holding her. I bury my face in the crook of her neck and allow her to continue.

Her tense stance softens and her angry yells morph into deep sobs as her attacks slow to a stop. She fists my shirt at my sides crying her pain onto my shoulder.

"I knew I would never be enough for you and that you would leave me one day."

"I never planned to leave you, Jova. Never in a million years did I ever plan to feel the way that I do for her, and whether you believe me or not, breaking our tether hurt me too."

She sniffs and with a weakened voice states "There's no way you felt what I did when you were connecting with her."

"I felt the first few moments of your pain before you gradually faded away and I felt.."

I pause not wanting to finish my sentence.

"You started to feel her instead. That's what you were going to say isn't it?"

Lacing my fingers into her purple hair, I can only quietly reply "Yes."

Jova places her forehead against my shoulder. "Is it your wife?"

Another quiet "Yes."

"Did she drop her partner too?"

"She did."

"And your succours?"

My heart clenches and my stomach knots itself. Why can't I imagine my life without Dykema in it, yet breaking my connection with Jova was so easily done?

"Hobi? What about your succours?"

"I.." My arms loosen around Jova. I don't know what to say to make this not sound bad.

"I take it your silence means it was just me, then."

I fold my lips into my mouth and rub my forehead easing the migraine that I know is on its way.

Jova takes a step back, forcefully wiping her eyes and opening the door. "Your time is up. Good day, Mr. Jung."

This couldn't have gone any worse. Even though the sexual part of our connection isn't there any longer, I still want to keep Jova as my close friend. After everything is said and done, she does mean a lot to me..

.. but my Dykema..

"I would like for us to still be friends Jova. I hope one day in your own time you can forgive me and you will reach out to talk. I won't bother you, but do not believe that you are far from my mind."

I lean to her and she turns her head with a scoff. A gentle lingering kiss to her temple and I step over the threshold for what as of right this minute is the last time.

I give Jova one final look which is the grandest of mistakes. She holds her quivering bottom lip in her teeth biting back the tears she will shed once I am no longer present.

"She's great. You're going to love my Jova!" A man chipperly explains as he appears in the landing below Jova's apartment door.

The thin, blonde man is followed by a plump woman similar in height with a nose ring. Her hair reminds me of my Dykema which makes my heart do a little flutter and a smile tug at the corners of my lips.

Our gazes meet and she smiles kindly. The man notices this and his happy-go-lucky demeanor drastically changes immediately giving me a 'go-fuck-yourself' expression.

Stuffing my hands into my coat pockets, I divert my gaze to my shoes as I pass them.

Once I am on the lower landing and the couple have made it to Jova's door, the man begins to introduce the women to each other. He stops mid-word upon seeing Jova's watery red eyes.

"Do you want me to go whoop his ass? Because I will! What gives him the right to upset you?!"

I stop and wait, my eyes resting on Jova's flushed face. Her anger once again surfaces as she says "Don't worry about him, Yoongi. He means nothing to me."

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a/n: Hobiiii! Get ur shite together man!!