The Hurt And The Healing: Bucky X OC

Chapter Sixty Seven: Who Knew The B67 Bus Could Be So Romantic?

"So that happened," Mara said with a sigh as she sank down onto the bench within the bus shelter. Bucky sat down beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him.

The walk from Dr. Grover's office had been silent, neither of them knowing what to say nor willing to remove their scarves and expose their faces to the wind. The distance between the office and the bus stop had bought Mara plenty of time to gather her thoughts, not that she had been able to use any of it. Her head felt like it was filled with smoke, and every time she blinked or tried to push through it she just came up with more nothing.

Bucky had been frustratingly patient. He had helped her put on her coat and held her hand and matched her much slower walking pace and let her stew in her emotions in silence for the past fifteen minutes. He had been charming and kind and not pressed her and yet the pressure of the smoke was starting to hurt and she just wanted him to force it out of her. Because if they had learned anything in the past hour it was this: Mara did not share her feelings without being forced to.

"Yes. Yes it did happen," he replied with a gentle kiss to her temple. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I feel like all I did for the past hour was talk," she muttered.

And there was the guilt again. She had had a plan. Go in. Be happy. Get out. Keep the focus on Bucky. Don't let anything distract from the goal of his healing.

But then Dr. Grover kept asking questions. And Bucky kept rejecting her answers. And instead of faking happiness just long enough to get the spotlight taken away, Mara had broken down in tears and guaranteed that Bucky's healing would no longer be Dr. Grover's primary objective in their sessions.

"Hey," Bucky turned her to face him, placing gloved thumbs on her cheekbones. "Thank you for talking," he continued in a tone both firm and soft. "Thank you for telling me how you felt. Thank you for being honest. And thank you for trusting me."

She looked up at him and tried to smile, but her face hurt and she just wanted to go to sleep where the feelings could not reach her.

"You're doing it again," he warned, sliding his hands from her face to her shoulders and then arms. "Shutting down. I can see it."

"How do you know?" she asked, but he just chuckled and shook his head.

"So you can hide your tells? Fat chance," he chided. She glared at him but he just kissed her quickly, as if to disorient her long enough to sneak in his question. "Come on, spill," he said as soon as he pulled back far enough to move his lips without them skimming her's. "What's going on in that brilliant mind of yours?"

"I just want you to get better," Mara replied with a sigh. "I wanted therapy to be good for you. For you to have another person to help you heal from all the shit you've been through. And now Dr. Grover wants to see us as a couple and I'm realizing that that means she's going to be splitting her time between helping you and helping me and-" She inhaled sharply and looked down at her wringing hands, trying to avoid the sadness in his eyes. "This is exactly what I did not want for you."

"Hang on," Bucky commanded, digging through his coat pocket and producing the magnet pack. Mara chuckled at it and rolled her eyes.

"Seriously?"

"Doctor's orders," he replied, setting it on his knee. "I am feeling..." he paused and looked down at the options. "Worried," he declared. "I am feeling worried because you have spent so long hiding your feelings and I do not want you to keep doing that. But-" he continued before she could protest with hollow assurances that she had changed, "I am also feeling hopeful," he said, placing a second finger on the corresponding face. "Because Dr. Grover managed to do in thirty minutes what Nonna and I have been trying to do for over a week, and if she can do that then maybe she can help us both."