The Hurt And The Healing: Bucky X OC

Chapter Thirty Six: Deserving

​​As they drove back to the estate under a waning moon, Bucky found himself unable to move. Mara had fallen asleep after an hour or so, her arms still around him in a tender embrace that he did not deserve but couldn't bring himself to reject. Her head rested on his shoulder and she had curled her legs up onto the seat beside her, and he was reminded of his grandmother's cat that used to doze everywhere from a half-empty fruit bowl to the mending pile. It was comforting to see that Mara had retained her gift for falling asleep no matter the circumstances. He hoped that she never lost it.

When he finally saw the mansion on the horizon Bucky moved, stirring her from her rest. She woke and stretched, a little dazed and unsure of her surroundings. But then she made eye contact with him and smiled.

"Hey."

"Hey," he replied, shifting so that their legs were no longer touching.

"Did you get any rest?"

"No," he admitted, "but I'm glad that you did. We're back."

Mara glanced out the window at the wrought iron gate and sighed. "So we are." She turned back to him. "How are you doing?"

"As well as can be expected," he answered. Mara looked at him with that same expression she had when he'd stumble to her apartment door with bullet holes and sprained shoulders and concussions. Her voice half kindness, half chiding, she'd look him up and down and grumble "do you know how to do anything without almost getting yourself killed?" And he'd chuckle, remind her that this was why he had her in his life, and watch that tired smile spread across her face like warm honey.

"You know if you ever want to talk about it, I'm always here," she said softly.

"I know."

He'd said more than enough already. She was worrying about him, not just as a patient or as a friend. Mara had teased Nonna for bringing in strays like him, but Bucky knew that she couldn't help but want to heal people. It's what made her a good doctor. It was also what made her look past the dozen warning signs that Bucky was beyond salvaging.

She was about to press him for a better answer when the car rolled to a stop in front of the mansion. Oeznik opened the door for them and helped her out into the cool night. She thanked him kindly and trudged to the front door, heels in one hand and clutch in the other. Bucky waited for a moment before finally forcing himself to his feet and after her.

Sam and Zemo were waiting for them in the dining room. They were surrounded by piles of paper, forgotten cups of coffee, and maps with a half dozen tacks shoved into them. Mara batted away Sam's greeting and headed towards the staircase.

"I can't think in this damn dress," she called back. "I'll be back after I change."

Bucky was left standing in the doorway, watching as Oeznik immediately began to clean up the room while Zemo rolled his eyes and got back to work. Sam got to his feet and walked over to him.

"You look like shit," he teased, clapping Bucky on the shoulder and shaking him slightly. "Cheer up. Zemo thinks we have enough data to plan our next move."

"Hopefully we come up with something better than the half-assed scheme we had tonight," Bucky snapped. Sam withdrew his hand and pursed his lips.

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Mara had to fix our mistakes," Bucky grumbled. "I never should have agreed to her going."

"That's what's pissing you off? That Mara pulled a Black Widow?" Sam raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"What's pissing me off is that it seems like I'm the only one who remembers that she's a doctor, not a soldier!" Bucky yanked off his jacket and threw it onto the nearest chair. Sam looked at the crumbled black fabric and crossed his arms. "She's not going on a mission again. I won't allow it," Bucky stated emphatically.